I'm running late today and I don't have a stash of cartoons to dig into like Bilbo does. Or even saved email jokes as Mike seems to have.
So instead, I have this link. Its about a petite politician who had her legs broken so that she could grow an additional 8cm. Obviously, it must have been extremely painful but 8cm sounds incredible. Initially, I thought her actions were drastic but then I remembered the two horrendous years I spent with braces.
What is the difference between having your legs broken and have four perfectly good teeth yanked out for the sake of a perfect smile? I don't know if they still do that but when I was 14 and my brother 12, we both had 4 teeth extracted. That day is forever burned into my mind. Those four teeth were SO HEALTHY that the dentist had to shake them back and forth endlessly. I could hear cracking sounds every so often and catch glimpses of what he was doing from the reflection in the light above.
So after all that, we had our teeth wired up - for more pain. Each month's visit to the orthodontist was excruciating. If anybody is in need of a torture technique, they should just put braces on a person, tighten it, and then force them to eat a big loaf of chewy stale bread. Not that our parents fed that to us but no matter what we ate, it hurt.
On top of that, I had to have the external head gear thing that wrapped around the back of the neck and hooked to the side teeth so that you couldn't close your mouth properly. There was no way I was going to wear that to school. And I mustn't forget to mention the clear plate (saliva collector) that I had to wear for six months after the braces came off.
Oh, I haven't mentioned that I didn't have crooked teeth in the first place. Just a mild (to me) overbite. I don't remember asking for the braces - must have been my parent's idea. Anyway, after all the suffering, I had a perfect smile, that people noticed, for about 5 years. And then two annoying teeth started to move. I believe its because I grind my teeth when I sleep. So now, instead of an overbite, I have almost perfectly straight teeth, except for the two rebels that are becoming more obvious as I age.
Its still good to smile. Lets all practice one now. :)