Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts

Sunday, April 29, 2012

A Whole Year Older

I'm only a day older than yesterday but I'll have to add a whole year onto my age now. The day started just after 7am when Aaron excitedly came to shove the first clue of his treasure hunt in front of my still sleeping face. He has been very excited about my birthday because of all the 'planning' he has put in over the past couple of weeks. So, after following the clues from the kitchen drawer, to the book shelves and all around the house, I finally found the present that he had been secretly working on - a twelve page book of drawings for me.


The drawings were mostly of various prehistoric animals that the thought up but there was also this one page of an adventure that he would like to go on with me.


Richard gave me an equally awesome gift but its too fancy to share here. Lets just say that its the fourth consecutive gadget type gift that he's given me, and, like the other three, I'll be mostly admiring it a few weeks before really getting into using it.

Obviously, I can't help but think back on the previous thirty five birthdays and comparing this one against the others. I'm happy to say that apart from my very first one (I was told that I didn't smile once), I have stayed happy, healthy and contented with my life at each and every one of them. My craziest birthday was my 19th when I had a 48 hour party with probably 48 friends. The birthday that led to my life now was my 22nd - Richard and I went for a Savage Garden concert and thats when we started going out. When you think about it from a certain angle, it was a downhill slide in the friends department from when I was 19. I went from spending my birthday with 48 people to just 3. Three very special ones though...


I'm off to enjoy the remaining few hours to this day with the three of them now. After being treated like a queen today, it'll be back to life as the help tomorrow.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Taking Frugal Up A Notch

We spent a quiet weekend at home and I used the time to get some organizing done and prepare a few activities for next week. More specifically, I wanted to get things ready so that I could spend the week encouraging Adrian to use a pencil. So, I sharpened all 42 color pencils, put together some ruled and un-ruled paper, pulled out Aaron's unfinished coloring books and collected a few different colored pens from around the house just to make things interesting.

I also did something that made the following words flash like huge neon signs in my head "stingy, cheapskate, frugal, kiam-siap". I found one of Aaron's old alphabet writing exercise books - the kind that has the dotted lines. He had only completed the pages for A to K and there were only a few marks on the remaining pages. The book was in fantastic condition, not dog eared or teared in anyway, and the writing was all neatly done in pencil. So, why let it sit around or worse, throw it out? I ended up rubbing out all the pages that Aaron had already completed. It took much longer than I expected and I had sore fingers from doing it but I think its good enough for Adrian to try writing in.

As I was rubbing, I was thinking to myself how crazy it was to be doing it because I noticed that the book only cost $2.50. Isn't it a waste of my time? Couldn't I have done something more useful with my time? Who reuses exercise books?

Here's the definition of "frugal" according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary:

"characterized by or reflecting economy in the use of resources"

So, its true, I could have done something else with my ten minutes but at that moment, I just felt that it would be a waste of resources not to reuse that book. Its not just the money either. I did not like to see something that was still of use, get wasted. As I've grown older, I find that I make more frugal decisions - like mending and making clothes. These traits must have been passed down from my grandmother, to my mother and now to me.

I don't think I'm a miser who is tight fisted with money, I just like to spend it in a smart way. I also don't think I'm a hoarder (I suppose, they all say that), but I usually can find use for the things that I keep. Its not necessary for me to by the highest quality products because I think they will last a long time. I've always found that with care, most things do last. The money I save today, can be spent on something bigger tomorrow. And even when I come across that 'bigger' thing, there is always a decision that can be made on whether or not it is justified.

Friday, April 13, 2012

The Thought of a Tattoo

I've wanted a tattoo for a long time. To be precise, I first started talking about it when I was 19. All I needed was the right crowd and little bit of encouragement from my friends and I would have easily gone against everything my mother has told me and got one. Unfortunately, not only did my friends not want to get one with me, they didn't even provide me with a tiniest bit of goading. Oh and yes, I was too much of a good girl to go get one by myself.

Earlier this year, I noticed that my cousin had a very nice tattoo in the upper middle of her back. I felt more than a little envious of her tattoo. And, I found out that she's had it for quite a few years except that none of us ever noticed. See, I could get one and not have a big deal made out of it too.

Recently, I also met a sixty something year old lady that showed off a new tattoo. It seems that her son wanted to get one and she thought it would be fun to get one too. I do not want to be that kind of mother. So, I might as well go get one now, and maybe I can drag my five year old with me. Just kidding!

I brought it up at dinner time in a wishful thinking kind of way. And Aaron had this very excited suggestion "OH! I have one! You can have it. Its a Ben10 one but I just need to find it first"

Yes, he had a temporary tattoo that he was willing to let me have. And if he had found it, I would have proudly showed it off to you here. That would purely have been for Aaron's benefit because a temporary tattoo is cheating. And no, I don't think I'll ever be getting a real one either because 1) I'm getting too old for this type of thing and 2) Richard is old fashioned and does not like the idea. I'm just going to have to accept the fact that I missed my chance nearly twenty years ago.

p.s. If I had a tattoo, I think I would have liked a small Chinese dragon. I've had this idea since before the books about The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

High School Reunion - 20 years!

Today, I got added to a Facebook group that looks like it was setup to re-connect everyone from my senior year in preparation for a reunion later this year. I had heard from one of the few high school friends that I'm still in touch with that there was another reunion a few years ago, before I moved back to Brisbane. Supposedly, it was quite enjoyable.

As I looked through the 94 names that have been added to the group so far, all I could think of was how I couldn't remember most of these people. Maybe some of them have changed their names but their photos aren't helping me remember them either.

I'm not sure if I'd want to attend a reunion. I don't think I'd know anybody and they probably don't remember me either so I'll just be standing around feeling uncomfortable the whole time. I think there were about three hundred and fifty students in my year and I always had a group of friends all throughout high school. Strangely, I think there are only three people that I feel were true friends. I'm in touch with two of them but the third one is very elusive and no amount of Googling or Facebooking has helped me find her.

Since we're on the topic of reunions, and reunions are all about walking down memory lane, here are some random memories from high school.

1) In Grade 8, I won a school music competition playing the Sonatina in F by Clementi. I then spent the rest of my high school years trying to keep up that sort of standard. Unfortunately, I only won once more and had to settle for seconds and thirds after that.

2) In Grade 9, at a swimming carnival, I stomped on my best friend's foot on purpose and went to be best friends with another girl. Even now, I don't understand why I did that and I still feel terrible about being so mean. I did see this girl's name in the Facebook group but she stopped talking to me in Grade 9 so its not like I'm going to 'friend' her and apologize.

3) In Grade 10, I was in a class of brainiacs but I didn't feel like I belonged there. Maybe I was the token 'not-so-smart' student to balance the class out. This was the year that my German teacher told my parents that I had tried my best and I could go no further with German.

4) In Grade 11, my friends started having boyfriends but I didn't even have a friend who was a boy. My mother was a part time Tiger Mom and one of the things she banned was attending school dances.

5) In  Grade 12, I chose music as a subject. There were about fifteen of us in the class. We had a young, non-habit wearing nun as the teacher and we won group singing competitions around Brisbane. I'm definitely not a good singer and don't claim any credit for the wins but it was the most fun I had in that year. We were special to the school because we were a small music class and not one of the choirs. I was very proud to be part of that.

Now I'm thinking that if would be nice to just say 'Hi' to some of these people from the past again. I just need to make sure I have at least one friend by my side so I don't have to feel as insecure as I did on the first day of Grade 8.

Have you attended high school reunions? Are they worth the anxiety?

Sunday, September 25, 2011

A Weekend To Myself

I have had an awful lot of fun this weekend. Not only did I spend almost the whole time clogging, but I was completely free of my parenting responsibilities. It was unbelievable. I didn't have to deal with any whining, get people to the toilet on time, clean up messes, make any meals, pick up toys, think up the next interesting activity. Nothing!

This was the Aussie Clog weekend - a clogging camp. Its actually a stay over affair starting from Friday night and ending after lunch on Sunday but I think I'll have to wait until next year to leave them for that long a stretch. I stayed for the day sessions this year and it was good enough for me.

My brain and body have had an incredible workout. I think what I like best about clogging is that it not only pushes my brain to remember new steps but it also forces it to tell my feet to move in those ways. The harder a dance, the more I like it.

Although I was looking forward to this weekend for months, I was seriously considering not going because I was worried that I wouldn't know how to fit in with the crowd. This stay-at-home-mothering gig has really eaten into my socializing skills!

My children have become the avenue that I use to meet new people. Its not really by choice but just the way things are. They are also my excuse to leave an event early, or get out of making small talk - well, not so much an 'excuse' but very often a genuine reason. Without them hanging around me and distracting me, I felt a bit exposed and unsure of how to approach a group, sit down and just have a chat.

The crowd at the weekend weren't even strangers. I see half of them on a weekly basis but in the class setting, its easier. There is only a few minutes of chatting time in between dances. This weekend, there was morning tea, lunch and afternoon tea to negotiate. Eek!

In the end, everything worked out and I'm glad that my insecurities didn't stop me from enjoying some great clogging. I did feel uncomfortable and awkward for a lot of the time but I think I put in a good effort at learning to stand by myself again, without the shield of my children.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Flash Back To 1988

During the drive to Aaron's school this morning, I heard a familiar name come over the radio - "Roxette". Roxette!!! Two seconds later, I hear "1927". Does anybody else remember these two bands? There will be a Roxette concert, featuring 1927, next February 14. Will I be there? That is the question.

This takes me back to Grade 8. I was 12 and they were my absolute favorites (before, New Kids On The Block). I think I still remember the words to "The Look". And the 1927 album "...ish" is still one of my all time favorites. Oh wait, I should put my favorite song here so you can all listen while reading.



I know I only had tapes of Roxette and 1927. Did they even release the albums on CDs back then? It was just yesterday that I was telling a friend that I never really feel older. This doesn't exactly make me feel old, it just makes me think that some of my memories were from a long, long time ago.

It was fun to be reminded of the music that used to be part of my younger life. I've gone through several clips on YouTube, and it looks like I like the songs as much as I did 23 years ago. To show that I do keep with the times, I also looked through some Usher stuff.

Apart from nursery rhymes and other kiddy music, what was your first favorite song?

Friday, August 5, 2011

Breaking All The Rules

WOW! Since putting up my last post, I've more or less been asleep for the past three days. And when I wasn't asleep, I was breaking almost every rule I set for my parenting self.

It all started on Tuesday morning when I just couldn't get myself warm. I stood in the sun with two jumpers on and still, I was freezing. After that, I couldn't keep awake! I had no choice then but to put a DVD on so that I could snooze while the TV babysat. And, on top of not being able to stay awake, I also couldn't keep any food in me. I was miserable!

Aaron and Adrian were the ones that 'benefited' from it all. I don't think they've ever watched so much TV and not needed to pick up any toys, brush their teeth or finish their meals. Its all a bit of a blur to me and I'm not sure what else they got up to.

I do remember vaguely that Aaron saw a clip of Julia Gillard on the "7pm Project" (30 minute talk show on whatever is in the news). After that, they had Dani, one of the Masterchef contestants on and he asked the question "Why is Dani on the government?

He was so confused. He knows who Julia Gillard is and must have thought that the 7pm Project setting she was in was 'the government'. My poor son. I haven't had the energy to clear that mess up yet.

I think I need another nap now, just in case. Aaron will be turning 5 this weekend and I have plans that I need to be fit to carry out.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Day 1 of Exercise Habit Forming

Richard started his new job on Monday and I've been adjusting to life as a full time stay at home mother again. So far so good. I'm enjoying the one on one time that I get with Adrian now even more than I did before. The only downside is that I had forgotten how exhausting it is. Trying to keep things upbeat, keep everybody satisfied and being efficient/productive is hard work when you do it alone from 7-6pm.

Its 10.30am now and for the past two days I was exhausted by this time. I just sat around surfing the net aimlessly. Today is different. Instead of taking the extra 30 minutes of sleep that Richard gives me each day, I dragged myself to the gym by 6pm, stumbled into a class that was way too high impact for an out-of-shape person like me and now I am feeling GOOD!

I think we all know in our minds that the more active we are, the more energy we have. I had forgotten that it really is true. Plus, I feel a lot happier too from having already accomplished something for the day. I hadn't been to the gym in a couple of weeks and "fat", "waste of money" and "diet" were words that were coming out of me - and I felt grouchy.

Its definitely a love hate relationship between me and exercise. I was an every day exerciser up until moving back to Brisbane but I definitely was a chore on many days. I think the easiest way exercise is to make it a habit, something that I'd better get back into now. Supposedly, it takes 21 days to form a habit so make sure I do a post on August 10 about it.

To keep with my good humour for today, here are some one liners on exercise - not exactly motivational but fun anyway.

1. Being part of the human race does not count as exercise.

2. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

3. I'm on a strict running program. I started yesterday. I've only missed one day so far.

4. I get a lot of mental exercise by thinking up weird ways to avoid physical exercise.

5. I've just spent an hour in a stationary car and am working my way up to a stationary bike.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Its Official!

Today, I'm officially in my mid-thirties. When I was around twenty, I thought the ideal age to be was somewhere in my mid-thirties. There would be no exams, no boyfriend problems, life would be in order. Well, I'm finally there. Or should I say, here.

I know forty is just around the corner and I'm pretty sure that I'll not be as happy when that birthday creeps up but today is all good. I am happy with the life I have and I think the only regret I have so far is that I didn't start doing the whole baby thing when I was twenty eight.

The whole disparity between chronological age and how old I actually feel is really starting to be apparent. In my mind, I think I still see myself as twenty eight. Hopefully it doesn't mean that I have somehow been stagnant for the past seven years.

So of course, this is a very significant day for some other people in the world. In fact, I'm very distracted as I type this - the fairytale wedding is on TV. With all the hype around the Royal Wedding, I couldn't help thinking of the vast difference between what Kate Middleton and I would be thinking on the night of the 28th April.

For her, its probably along the lines of "Woohoo! Me! Princess!"

For me, "ME! Mid-Thirties!!!!".

Anyway, I need to go plonk myself down in front of the TV. I haven't paid much attention to this wedding previously but the coverage is doing a good job at sucking me into the whole fairytale mood. Real life princes and princesses......

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Just Relax!

Relaxing is something I have lots of trouble with. I always want to relax but very often, I don't think I reach that state.

On a whim, I booked myself in for a facial this afternoon. I haven't had my faced professionally cleaned in nearly two years and I really needed it! It was one hour of lying down, listening to some new-age type music and having somebody repeatedly clean, exfoliate and massage my face. It was peaceful in there and I might even have forgotten that I am a frazzled mother in real life.

Strangely, I felt as if my body was rejecting all the relaxation. I'd be lying there, thinking of how peaceful I was feeling when I would suddenly notice that all my fingers and toes were tense and some pointing at strange angles. It was weird. I'd relax them only to find that after awhile, my knees were locked tight. This went on the entire time. I tried to quiet my mind as well but that was even harder. The more I tried, the more it seemed to have things to think about. Maybe its a combination of a lack of practice at relaxing and enjoying calmness as well as the brain thinking that its finally got some bandwith to do some thinking that doesn't involve firefighting situations with Aaron and Adrian.

One of the things that crossed my mind was that after I had quit my job and before I became a mother, I had lots of time to myself. However, back then, I felt that I must not relax because that would be lazy and I would be wasting all the time that I had. Silly me! I should have been practicing back then. Look whats happened now, I rarely get any time to myself and when I do, I don't know how to use it to relax.

In the end, whether I was relaxed or not, I did have a great (waking) one hour of not moving, not speaking and not needing to listen. I should do this again some time....need the practice.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

I Am Thankful

This year is certainly shaping up to be one of natural disasters. I did spend a couple of hours watching the news last night because the images of the quake and subsequent tsunami were incredibly mesmerizing. Mother nature's raw power initially evoke thoughts of anger and fury, as if she's 'paying us back' for what we've done to the earth. But thats not true. The threat, potential and realization of these disasters have been around through the ages. Unfortunately, our modern lives have evolved in ways that maybe amplify the damage in terms of human lives and loss of livelihoods.

During the Queensland floods, we didn't get to watch any news coverage because of the power outage. When we finally could, I was glued to the TV. When the Christchurch earthquake hit, I watched a little of the news and read bits of it in the newspaper. It just seemed to sad to read about the destruction and emotional turmoil that all these people were thrown into. And now with this latest quake in Japan, I was particularly interested in the footage of the tsunami because its the first time I've seen what they mean by a 'wall of water'. (Somehow, I didn't see any of it during the Indonesian quake in 2004).

Stories of survivors are always uplifting but they're always accompanied by stories of the many more that have died or lost loved ones. I've managed to get in touch with some of my friends in Japan but there is still one more I haven't heard from. Thankfully, they all life in Tokyo. I find myself not wanting to watch all the details of what is happening on the ground level in Japan now. A quick glance of the headlines this morning to know that they now have the threat of a radiation leak and a death toll of potentially over 1000 is depressing enough.

Instead, I am reminded today of how thankful I need to be of all that I have. The family that I have, the house that we live in, the money that we have to pay for food and education, the relative stability of the country we live in and overall, the general contentment and lack of serious worries in my life.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Not Another Boring SAHM

I've been flip flopping between 'contented' and 'boring'. More specifically, I've been trying to figure out if I've reached some sort of higher level of contentment or I've sunk all the way down to being plain boring! Maybe I've become a combination of both and oscillate between the two. The only thing I know for certain is that I got this way from becoming a mother to two.

So, seeing that I like being a mother I've been trying to convince myself that its contentment that I feel. And its because I'm so contented that I:

1. Don't feel that I need to go out with my friends (not that I have that many).
2. Don't yearn to go for a night out on the town.
3. Glance through the news headlines each day, have some sort of reaction to them mentally but never feel like debating any of them. I seem to spend all my brain power thinking of how to have more fun with Aaron and Adrian.

The list goes on with plenty more along similar lines. It almost seems like I'm not interested in having a life. However, I think my confusion over being contented and boring is influenced by the general view of what 'having a life' means. For a single person or even a couple without children, having a life very often means an active social life - satisfaction and enjoyment derived from interactions outside the family unit. By definition, being a stay at home mom means that you're in the home and interacting within the family unit. Its true that after awhile, time limitations mean that ninety percent of the time, it becomes the only type of interaction I have. Therefore, no outside social life, and by the general definition 'no life'.

But, is it really that bad to make your family, your life. Of course, they test me every single day but I love watching them play, and playing with them, and thinking up new things that we can do together. I like watching them sleep and watching them wake up looking groggy but fresh. Spending a carefree day out with Richard and the boys always leaves me feeling grateful for the life I have. We have only a few precious years when Aaron and Adrian are completely innocent and I just want to be a part of every second of it.

So, why do I need to convince myself that it is contentment I feel? Maybe its because the word 'contentment' is sometimes associated with 'complacent'. Well, whatever the reason, I think I should be thankful that I don't hate my life and I don't feel envy for the lives that other people have. There are always things that we can do to improve our lives and the lives of those around us so I think its more important to focus on that than to wonder (and hope) that I haven't become a boring old housewife!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

An Old "To Do Before I Die" List

I was looking for an empty page in my notebook today and came across a very unfamiliar list. The notebook itself is close to seven years old but I'm not in the habit of dating things so I don't know when I made this list but its definitely some time before Aaron was born.

Amongst the sixty seven items, these really stood out and made me wonder about the sort of frame of mind I was in at the time. They seem mismatched and so out of reach (and even more out of reach now).

1) Meditate daily - What?! There is absolutely no quiet in my life right now, not around me or within me. In fact, I am wishing that somebody will give me a pair of noise canceling headphones for Christmas. I think I need to wait another five years before I start working on this.

2) Earn a "fantastic" salary from trading - I'm guessing that I was trying to set a high bar for myself but I probably intended to earn the same as I would if I were to go out to a job. This was my aim when I first quit Intel and was home all day. I worked on it for awhile and felt pretty comfortable with where I got but when Aaron came along, I just couldn't focus. The good news is that I started it again last year but then Adrian came along. Damn!

3) Start an elaborate and traditional Chinese New Year practice - Hmmm...I never give much thought to Chinese New Year. But I suppose this would be a good idea now that I have two boys to 'educate' on the Chinese traditions. Hey wow! Looks like I had some sort of long term thinking when I wrote this down without even having any children yet.

4) Attend a Star Trek Convention - I've totally forgotten how crazy I used to be about Star Trek. I guess I still am but never spend the time to get immersed in Federation stuff anymore. If I'm lucky, the boys might get interested one day. (Although, by the time they're old enough to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, it'll almost be like me watching Star Trek : The Original Series.)

Now here's the most shocking one of all...

5) FOUR kids - OMG! Who was this person? What was she thinking? I still see how fun it could potentially be with four children but I now have the added experience of knowing how much work (and money) goes into it. Nah...if I did this before I died, I wouldn't have the time, energy or money to do any of the other sixty six items....

It was strange to read through that list and get reminded of things that I used to want to do. While many seem unattainable at this time, at least I can start plodding towards them.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Saying "Thank You" For Compliments

A long time ago, I read something about always complimenting a person genuinely. For example, if you meet someone and you genuinely think they're shoes look good, then tell them. This will (probably) please the person and in turn, you'll get some happy vibes. Anyway, its all for the feel good factor. However, don't pick just anything and compliment the person falsely.

So I do that. I like complimenting people and I am always genuine about it.

The problem is that I'm terrible at accepting compliments. I know that the proper response would be a simple 'Thank You' but somehow, I feel the need to go on. I'm pretty sure there are many people out there like this too. Its as if receiving the compliment would somehow mean that you were a proud or boastful person.

For example....

... When we went for a trial Chinese class for Aaron, another parent remarked that Aaron was very well behaved and was concentrating very well. Immediately, I said that he was cheeky and it was only because the environment was unfamiliar that he was sitting and behaving.

... A lady passed me on the escalators and said that the sling I was carrying Adrian in was very pretty. I said "Thank you, its something simple for doing the shopping. Keeps my hands free." She was lucky her escalator was moving in the opposite direction and I couldn't continue any more.

... Old ladies often come up to say hello to Adrian and tell me what a beautiful baby he is. I have been known to point out that he's got drool all down his chin and snot around his nose. Why do I do that???

I always immediately kick myself and think 'Next time, "Thank You"'. Its hard. I wonder if it is to do with my upbringing. If so, I might be damning Aaron to the same fate. He has been (innocently) going around saying that he's clever. My fault for saying 'Clever Boy' over the past four years. And now, I'm probably confusing him because I have been telling him that he mustn't think of himself that way and he definitely must not be telling other people how smart he is. It is up to other people to decide if he's clever or not.

Yet, thats not quite right either because we all need some sort of self worth/confidence. How do you explain it to a four year old? If you feel you're clever, you can think it, but you can't say it. So maybe, it is here that the way we accept compliments gets screwed up. If you can't say you're clever, maybe you shouldn't admit to being clever even if somebody else says you are. Confusing!

Keep things simple. If somebody says something nice to you, just say "Thank You".

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Unexpectedly Uplifting Statements

As I've often complained here on my blog, people (family, friends and strangers alike) like to tell me that I need to get myself a daughter. People usually remark that the two boys are going to be a handful and that a daughter will be easier. More importantly, I can dress her up in pretty dresses! What they forget is that even if I decide to have another child and if it was a girl, I would still have the two sons. And, they would probably be harder to handle because I'd have even less time seeing I'd have to be shopping for all those pretty dresses for the girl.

Anyway, a lovely lady surprised me the other day. I have recently started going back to my clogging classes and on my first day back, this lady asked me where Aaron was. Previously, I brought him along to the classes but I thought he might be too distracting now. He had become very friendly with everyone and chats with them the entire time. So, I told the lady why I didn't bring Aaron along and she said these words that made my day:

"I don't like boys who behave themselves. Those who sit quietly in the corner are no fun at all."

And, she really meant it. She likes the energy that little boys bring to a place. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that she has three grown sons but whatever the reason, those simple words somehow made me feel very happy. (And somewhat proud of my cheeky son.) That affirmation amidst all the usual comments that I receive was extremely refreshing and made me feel a little less apologetic about the disruption that the two of them sometimes cause.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Distractions For An Itchy Nose

Its hayfever time for me here in Brisbane. If memory serves me correctly, August is one of the more windy months of the year and since we're moving in to spring, those winds are sending the pollen everywhere, especially up my nose.

I had forgotten all about how irritating this time of the year can be. All I can think about right now is how itchy my nose is and how I must not touch it anymore or I'll have a peeling, itchy nose tomorrow. That would be irritating AND ugly!

So, to help with the distraction, here's a list of things, from my experience, to do to distract yourself from an itchy nose:

1. Breath slowly, evenly and not too deeply.

2. Eat something. Crunchy things work best.

3. Have a steaming hot shower.

4. Bite on the collar of your T-shirt. (Unsightly but if you're at home, nobody will see you anyway.)

5. Leave your house and go somewhere else indoors. Walking in the mall is good as a distraction and also helps with the blood circulation which in turn seems to help with the itchy nose (and all the other hayfever symptoms in general.) Note: Don't go to a library. Those places make itchy noses itchier.

Alright, so I did all those things today. I also took one of those little hayfever pills but its not working yet. I think its time for me to go rummage for something to chew on. Let me know what you do when hayfever strikes.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Items From A Different Life

Six years ago, Richard and I left our jobs at Intel in Penang. We boxed all our belongings from the apartment and have kept them here in my parent's Ipoh home. Many of the boxes have remained unopened until now. Its finally time to decide what we can keep and what we really should throw out.

I came across this messy looking bag:


These were the final items I had in my cubicle on my last day of work. It almost looks like I just dumped everything into the bag without really looking. I can see that some of the items had some sort of sentimental value at the time but others are ..... odd.



There are the souvenirs from Costa Rica and San Francisco. The little FCPGA and OLGA things are my 'inventions' from my first job at Intel. You can also see a few dummy substrates and rejects because I just couldn't chuck them out. If you look carefully, there is a clear stamp there. Its of my name and I used that because I was in charge of approving visitors to the production floor. It used to be a pain-in-the-behind extra job that I had to do at the end of every work day - wade through a pile of applications and stamp my name on those that had a valid enough reason to visit the factory.

The usual items like highlighters, hairbrush, earphones name tag, badges and other stationary are expected.

And then there are the odd items: A fork from the Intel canteen. A spoon from some takeaway packet. And two packets of the free 3 in 1 tea that we were given each day.
I can't imagine what I was thinking when I decided to sweep all those items into the plastic bag!

So am I throwing these things out? Part of it - I'm keeping the souvenirs.

Looking through all our old things brought back lots of fun memories. Even the memories of all the late night and early morning phone meetings we had to participate in at Intel seem fun in hindsight. Its strange how unpleasant experiences that occurred alongside positive ones seem to have their unpleasantness fade but the positive ones get remembered in an exaggerated way.

I almost wish I had stayed on in the workforce but that would mean wouldn't be "enjoying" all this slavery for my kids now. LOL! One day, I'll go find a job where I can work for myself.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Ups, Downs and New Worries

I know Mothers Day was over a week ago but I didn't think of this mothering topic until today. Thats what happens when you become a disorganized mom of two I guess. Even your thoughts get out of sync with the calendar year.

I've been in my new job as Mother Of Two for over four months now and here are some of my observations:

THE UPS
* The cute baby smiling and cooing at me everyday!

* The cute little boy still smiling at me but now, also chatting and helping me out each day.

* The two kids smiling and making noises at each other. This, I absolutely LOVE! Aaron hasn't been jealous and Adrian seems to know that this other little guy is one day, soon, going to be his best mate.

* Not wondering or even hoping that a baby will sleep through the night. This one plagued me for months with Aaron and he didn't really sleep a 5 hour stretch until nearly 3 years old.

* Not worrying if screaming in the car seat will make the baby feel hurt, abandoned and scarred for life.

* Being able to tote the baby along to Aaron's various lessons, to the malls, parks and anywhere else that we feel like going. I didn't go out much when Aaron was a baby because I was always trying to stick to a schedule at home. No such discipline second time around and life is so much more interesting!

* In general, just being a lot more relaxed about everything because I've been through most of it before. I'm experienced!

THE DOWNS
* After slowly clawing back some time for myself from the time Aaron was about two and a half, its suddenly all gone.

* I now count things like the waiting time at doctors appointments (my own, without the kids) as "Me time" where I just sit and do nothing.

* Life is twice as unpredictable as it was before. I have made many resolutions to go back to daily blogging but so many things come up each day and I have dropped so far behind that I've become a weekly blogger.

THE NEW WORRIES
* Is Aaron going to be overly enthusiastic while I have my back turned and try to pick the baby up or something similar?

* Will I be able to give Adrian the same early years focus as I did for Aaron?

* Will we really have enough money to clothe, feed and educate two boys?

* Will they grow up to be best friends?

* Will I be able to contribute to society in some other way once the boys are both in school?

I'm sure there are more but these are the main ones in the front of my mind. Thankfully, there are more UPS than DOWNS. Phew! Unfortunately, the list of new worries gets tacked onto the end of the 'old worries' list which is already a mile long. *sigh*

Well, thats all the time I could claw out today for blogging. I'll hopefully be back within the week.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Still Around 30

I had an action packed birthday at SeaWorld yesterday. Years and years and years ago, I used to wish my parents would take me to places like SeaWorld for my birthday. Well, that never happened since my birthday is right in the middle of Term 2 of any school year.

So this year, I said I wanted to spend the day there. Of course I've been there before and it definitely doesn't provide the same thrills as it did twenty five years ago but I wanted to go because of Aaron. Its such a cliche to say this but the energy and excitement that he let out yesterday was one of the greatest gifts I could have received. Five birthdays ago, I would never have imagined myself feeling that there was nothing better to receive for one's birthday than an indulgent day with my son.

He was the perfect kid all day. No complaints when we waited for the shows, no frustrations while we waited in line for rides and no whinging during the car trip there and back. WOW!!! We took him on a couple of the non-kiddy rides which would definitely have been scary for a little guy but he liked it. I wish we had a photo of him coming down the Flume ride but the camera battery was flat.

Age is definitely just a number but I still prefer to be 'around 30' instead of 'around 40'. So for rounding purposes I'm glad I'm still 'around 30' but the thought of being 'mid 30s' will definitely take a little getting used to.

I got a whole lot of birthday wishes that I'm excited to go respond to now. Most of it came via email and Facebook but I also had two pleasant surprises in the mail. Snail mail and parcels aren't dead after all...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Back In The Swing Of Reading

Peter.

(turn page)

Jane.

(turn page)

Pat.

Anybody know where those words come from? I call them the 'Peter and Jane' books, because they are all about Peter and Jane (and sometimes their dog, Pat). I still see them around these days but I have no desire to introduce them to Aaron. They were what my mother used to teach us to read but they were dull. There are plenty of other more interesting books available to us now.

I didn't like that series of books but once I got the hang of reading, I read all day long. I have a very distinct memory of a beach holiday with my family where I spent almost the entire time reading. The particular book was literally the size of a phone book!

When we moved to Brisbane (the first time), I got my first taste of libraries. My mother doesn't believe in buying books so the library was like heaven for me. My library card was always maxed out! I read before, after and in between classes at school. Each evening, I'd rush through my homework so that I could get to the real reading. Later at night, I would read in the bathroom so that my mother wouldn't know that I was still awake, and reading.

And then I moved back to Malaysia and there was no more reading.

There aren't any libraries worth going to there. And bookstores? Well, lets just say my mother did a good job brainwashing us with the notion that it was a waste of money to pay money for books when there were libraries. Yes, I know there were no libraries in Malaysia but I was completely brainwashed. The funny thing was that she ended up buying me the odd book now and then.

When we were in Palembang, I started buying books again. Not for me but for Aaron because I felt that we spent so much time in the house that we absolutely needed our own library. So, he's got a mini library.

And now, I've returned to the good old days of reading at every spare moment (apart from when I blog). We go to the library nearly twice a week so between Aaron and I, the house is dotted with books.

So what have I read lately? Usually, I look out for books on babies and young children. So far, two parenting authors that I've really liked are Elizabeth Pantley and Dr William Sears. Yesterday I borrowed "Family First" by Dr Phil McGraw...we'll see how that goes.

I also go for a lot of the cooking books and books on nutrition. Craft books also frequently catch my eye although I never actually find the time to make anything. Its still nice to look through and feel briefly inspired.

In the past, I usually zoomed in on the fiction section first. Twenty years later I now try to limit myself to just one book of fiction a week so that my already scarce reading time can be used for other types of books. So last week, I went for the very mainstream with "The Lost Symbol" by Dan Brown. I enjoyed it but I think I might have built up too much expectation for it after having waiting so long to get my hands on a copy.

I've made it a goal each week to borrow a book on a topic that I wouldn't usually pick. It doesn't matter if I don't end up enjoying it, at least it helps open my mind. This week I picked up PaintShop Pro for Dummies. I wonder how far I'll get with that...

The library is the most wonderful place on earth with books on every topic imaginable. Here's a cute little poem on it.

I've traveled the world twice over,
Met the famous; saints and sinners,
Poets and artists, kings and queens,
Old stars and hopeful beginners,
I've been where no-one's been before,
Learned secrets from writers and cooks
All with one library ticket
To the wonderful world of books.
~ Anonymous ~