I was looking for an empty page in my notebook today and came across a very unfamiliar list. The notebook itself is close to seven years old but I'm not in the habit of dating things so I don't know when I made this list but its definitely some time before Aaron was born.
Amongst the sixty seven items, these really stood out and made me wonder about the sort of frame of mind I was in at the time. They seem mismatched and so out of reach (and even more out of reach now).
1) Meditate daily - What?! There is absolutely no quiet in my life right now, not around me or within me. In fact, I am wishing that somebody will give me a pair of noise canceling headphones for Christmas. I think I need to wait another five years before I start working on this.
2) Earn a "fantastic" salary from trading - I'm guessing that I was trying to set a high bar for myself but I probably intended to earn the same as I would if I were to go out to a job. This was my aim when I first quit Intel and was home all day. I worked on it for awhile and felt pretty comfortable with where I got but when Aaron came along, I just couldn't focus. The good news is that I started it again last year but then Adrian came along. Damn!
3) Start an elaborate and traditional Chinese New Year practice - Hmmm...I never give much thought to Chinese New Year. But I suppose this would be a good idea now that I have two boys to 'educate' on the Chinese traditions. Hey wow! Looks like I had some sort of long term thinking when I wrote this down without even having any children yet.
4) Attend a Star Trek Convention - I've totally forgotten how crazy I used to be about Star Trek. I guess I still am but never spend the time to get immersed in Federation stuff anymore. If I'm lucky, the boys might get interested one day. (Although, by the time they're old enough to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, it'll almost be like me watching Star Trek : The Original Series.)
Now here's the most shocking one of all...
5) FOUR kids - OMG! Who was this person? What was she thinking? I still see how fun it could potentially be with four children but I now have the added experience of knowing how much work (and money) goes into it. Nah...if I did this before I died, I wouldn't have the time, energy or money to do any of the other sixty six items....
It was strange to read through that list and get reminded of things that I used to want to do. While many seem unattainable at this time, at least I can start plodding towards them.