A couple of days ago, a close friend and I were chatting over Skype and she mentioned that life expectancy in China was only 35 years in 1952. She is living in Shanghai at the moment and I said that if she lived then, she only had a year left. Immediately, she came back with a statement that she would only have a few months to live, not a year!
I'm 32 right? RIGHT? Wrong! I had automatically added on two years from my own age to get hers. However, I forgot that I'll be turning 33 in the next few days. Funnily, this is the age that I always wanted to be. Well, when I was 19, I thought I wanted to be 33. I imagined that by the time I was 33, I would definitely not be doing any exams and I would have my life in order and be living happily every after.
Anyway, the conversation with my friend went along the lines of how time flies. She mentioned wanting to push the "Pause" button. At the time, I responded that I didn't feel I needed to.
I've been thinking a lot about that conversation. Why wouldn't I want to "Pause" things? I definitely also feel that time has zoomed by much quicker than anticipated. My friend and I used to be 12 and 14, staying out past midnight after Christmas caroling. Yet, I find that the past few years have gone by at the "correct" pace.
Maybe the snail's pace speed of life here in Palembang has its advantages after all. Our days start at 5am and drag, seemingly endlessly, until 8pm and then it speeds up a little until 11pm each night. I often find myself sitting and staring at Aaron, wondering what we can do next. It gets frustrating and boring at times but maybe this is really our chance to take things slow and savor each day. [I'm trying to convince myself here :)]
We won't be here forever and once we move away, I am sure it will be to a place with lots more to do. Perhaps I will go back to work someday. Working would definitely contribute to time zooming by again because I might end up back in the pre-baby lifestyle - surviving until the next deadline!
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that being a stay at home mom, especially one in a quiet place like Palembang, is challenging but is full of potential. I know I waste a lot of my days being hot and grumpy. And I regret it at the end of the day. I just need to remember to be to be positive and see each day as an opportunity. Opportunities for small chunks of accomplishment are still counted as opportunities.
It sounds like one of those posts where I'm talking to myself isn't it? Well...thats what staying at home does to a person :)