I attended the Australian Breastfeeding Association Regional Workshop this morning and during the tea break, I found myself going off to the bathroom because I didn't know a single person there. When I returned, I literally stood and looked around for an individual, pair or group that I could start a conversation with but they were all already DEEP in funny conversations. I didn't have my conversation starter (aka Aaron) with me. I didn't want to seem anti social by sitting down. So I just....STOOD.
I knew that this was a workshop for breastfeeding counsellors and community educators that have known each other for some time but I still wanted to go because I am interested in the topics. (And, I hope to be some sort of counsellor/educator in the future)
In a previous life, I never encountered this problem. I wasn't a power mingler but I've never had to stand around awkwardly trying to fit in. There has always been a nagging fear in the back of my mind that I would become stupid or lose touch with the outside world after leaving my regular job for self employment (and now mommyhood) where I spend so much time home alone.
Was today the first sign that my worst fears are coming true? I don't like to think so since the local ABA meeting I went to was fine. But I really do need to find ways to 'get out more'. Its easy here in Brisbane but Palembang is a whole different story.
I'm still kicking myself for not being more 'out there' and trying harder to make some conversation.