Monday, November 23, 2009

What if MEN got PREGNANT?

I'm starting my countdown. No, not to the EDD (estimated due date) but to next Tuesday when Richard arrives. Right now, he's having a holiday in Malaysia. Let me repeat that:


As in a real one where he gets to sleep in, meet up with friends, go shopping, go out to eat, basically do whatever he likes without a kid in tow. Without even a kid to go back to at the end of a couple of hours out.

Well, I'm hoping my holiday starts when he gets here. I'm not hoping, I KNOW its starting next Tuesday. After all, six weeks after that and I'll probably be starting my next stint in hard labor (both types).

In the mean time, I came across these few jokes on what the world would be like if men got pregnant:

~ Maternity leave would last for two years....with full pay.

~There would be a cure for stretch marks.

~Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

~Morning sickness would rank as the nation's #1 health problem.

~All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.

~Children would be kept in the hospital until potty trained.

~Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

~They wouldn't think twins were so cute.

~Briefcases would be used as diaper bags.

~Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.

~They'd stay in bed during the entire pregnancy.

~Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entrees.

~Women would rule the world.


Mike said...

"~Men would be eager to talk about commitment."

I think that one is pushing it a little too much.

Bilbo said...

Once again, I see this theme that runs along ... the theme that assumes that the man works design and gets all the credit, while the lady works production and does all the work. We need to step back and reconsider this. I have some experience of living with pregnant ladies, and understand that it's no fun to be pregnant. However, consider that men must LIVE with pregnant ladies, which is no walk in the park, I assure you.


Go easy on Richard when he gets back. He'll be learning to walk on eggshells like all the rest of us do when our wives are expecting.

vw: ingyme - I have no clue what this means, but it looks vaguely sinister...

Jean-Luc Picard said...

What a relief that doesn't happen.