My Maternal Grandmother

My brother has been working on our family tree for several years now. Over the Chinese New Year period, he took the time to scan a lot of the old photos that were still around. My favorites were the ones of my grandmother. Here are just a few.

She always wore either the traditional samfu (literally translated to shirt and pants, but the chinese style) or the kebaya (embroidered blouse worn with a sarong) for more formal occasions. She always has her hair permed because her best friend was a hair dresser. I even saw photos of my uncle when he was three years old and he to had a perm! My grandmother still has permed hair today.

I'll admit that she's my favourite grandparent. She is always gentle, kind and considerate. In her old age, she has grown a little clumsier and less elegant if a stranger were to observer her but I still see her the way I did as a child. This photo of my grandparents from my childhood. She is still wearing a samfu.

And here they are today - she is 89 and he is 94. She no longer wears the samfu as often because they've all be worn out and nobody makes them anymore these days.

I think they both still look good for their age. Well, I'm off to give them a phonecall.

No Wonder He's The Favourite

There is no doubt about it. Favoritism is very much practiced in this household. Not by the adults of course, but by the two little ones.

The focus of all their love and attention is definitely on my father. They never refuse when he asks to share their food. He is the first one that they say 'Good Morning' to. For a long time, my father was also the only person that Adrian would give a kiss to. From the minute they realize he's awake until their bedtimes, they try their best to hang around him.

It really is no mystery why this is so. My father is like a big kid and is constantly thinking up new ways for them to have fun. Very often, it doesn't even need to be something new and exciting - just an everyday job will become fun.

He took them for an afternoon of watching the comings and goings at a huge construction site.



Here's a 'trapeze'...



And here's my poor father trying his best to get his garden in order.



And there you have it, the favorite adult in our family.

Where have all the cousins gone?

In total, counting both sides of the family, I have 16 cousins. To me, this is a pretty pathetic number given that there are 4 siblings on my father's side and 6 on my mother's.

Both my parents have told us fun stories of their childhoods, inter-twined with their cousins. Even today, they often meet up and I can see how much they enjoy each others company and how close they all are.

As children, my brother and I rarely got together with the cousins all at once. We were in Australia and they were scattered in Europe, England and different parts of Malaysia. As kids, we all got along and did have lots of fun. But now, as adults, there is always a period of awkwardness. Its as if we remember that we used to have fun together but we're now grown up and if we weren't related, are practically strangers to each other. Thankfully, I think we all feel that while we may not know each other well, we would like to.

In recent years, the only time that we've all gotten together is when one of us got married. What happens when we're all married? What happens when all my grand parents pass away and there is no longer an anchor in Malaysia to keep us going back?

By watching my parents, their siblings and their cousins, I have seen what a big family can be like. And, even if I didn't exactly experience it first hand, I could see what it was like and appreciate it. Unfortunately, I don't think Aaron and Adrian will have the chance.

Firstly, there are only three people in their generation at the moment and it doesn't look like there will be any others for a long time. Both Richard and I have one younger brother each so there aren't going to be a whole lot of first cousins anyway. Secondly, I very rarely meet up with any of my cousins. So, even if second cousins come about later, they probably won't get the chance for any rowdy play as carefree kids. Imagine what that will do to grown up second cousins? Strangers.

Am I supposed to do anything about this? Is it also part of the all encompassing role of mother to ensure that my children will know what 'family' feels like in the future? I want to make the effort but what if I'm the only one that sees any value in this?

My Superhero

Today is Father's Day in Australia. So for today, let me tell you
about mine.

Yes, my dad is a superhero (and so am I since I'm his daughter). We have super parking powers. I'm not kidding! Whenever the both of us are in the same car, we always find parking spots. It doesn't matter where we are or how crowded the place is. When we're together, we always find a spot quickly. AND, its always a good spot where we don't need to walk very far to get to wherever we're going.

I've attributed the super parking powers to the fact that my father and I are always in a good mood when we're together. If we're in the car together, we've probably spent most of the journey talking and laughing. Therefore, the car is oozing positive vibes. You've all heard about positive thinking right? When we enter a car park and start looking around for a spot all that positive energy must do something for us.

My father is the most easy going person I know. I almost want to say that he is never in a bad mood but there are some rare times when he gets cranky. I know he worries about things too but the difference between him and many other people is that he seems to be able to worry about one thing at a time. Some may say that it is because he is lucky in life but it is also his laid back attitude towards things. And the fact that he looks to have fun every day.

He has been the type of father that has taught by example and guided us without being pushy. You can probably guess that he was not the disciplinarian at home. He is the fun parent! Even today, he is the one to go to if you're looking for some junk food. I can already see that I'm much more like my mother than my father in terms of my parenting style but I hope that some of his attitudes towards life has rubbed off on me too.

We Need Immunity !!

Its not even winter yet and we've already had 9 colds in this household. I'm not proud of these statistics.

The first round started with Aaron who passed it to Richard, who then passed it back to Aaron who passed it to Richard AGAIN. By then, my army of antibodies must have gotten tired of fighting all those germs because I finally got it and eventually, so did the baby. That round robin lasted about 3 weeks.

We've been clear for 2 weeks but it has started again.

The culprit is Aaron again, who then passed it to Richard. This time, I only lasted two days and now I think I'm getting it and so is the baby. *sigh*

What is it with all of us? We're a family who eats healthy, doesn't go out to the crowds all that often and who spends a huge chunk of the monthly budget on supplements. What are we doing wrong?

Maybe we're not strict enough with Aaron's hand washing. He's the one that has bringing the bugs home. And Richard and I .... well ... I don't know. Maybe we aren't getting enough sleep. Maybe we need to wash our hands more. Adrian doesn't stand a chance does he? At least he'll be building his immunity with all the germs floating around here.

So from now on there will be a lot of hand washing. I'm adding more garlic into our cooking. I think I'll change the supplements we're currently taking. Then its complete isolation for whoever sneezes. That person definitely will not be riding in cars with anybody else. Something needs to be done about these crazy colds!

Thanksgiving Where There Is No Holiday

There is no Thanksgiving Holiday here in Australia but I thought it would be nice to reflect on some of the things that I have to be thankful for anyway.

I know I am blessed in a hundred different ways and have always been. My life has always been happy and worry free. I never had everything I wanted but I did have everything I needed. So, there are plenty of materialistic things and achievements that I am thankful for. But, the thing that I am most thankful for in my life is my family. Everything in my life has been possible because of this fantastic family that I have.

Of all the people I know, I feel as if I have the best parent-child relationship around. Throughout my life, I have enjoyed their company as much as my friends. There have been times when I have invited my dad along to outings with peers just because I know that he will make the trip more fun. My mother has been the most supportive grandmother while at the same time the least critical. There are lots of obvious benefits to us living here in their house but I am thankful to be able to live so happily with them. The house is big enough so that everyone gets their privacy but we still we have fun every day. We do things together and we respect each other.

I'm also thankful to have the most patient husband in the world. Yes, I was just complaining a couple of days ago about how he is having a holiday while I never get one but I know that I couldn't have found a better partner in life. And we have Aaron. I am more than thankful for having him around. How can someone be so cute and so infuriating at the same time? How can he make me so angry yet make me love him so much at the same time? So, my own little family is also the most fantastic in the world :P

And I can't forget my brother. Its just crazy to think that we argued every day growing up and yet we chat like best buddies every day now. I actually found an old notebook from primary school where I had given myself some lines to write. It said "I hate XXX XXX". I must have really hated him back then yet I'd do anything for him now.

So, thats my self indulgent post for today.

No More Fools Here

Its 5.08pm and so far, nobody in this house has played any tricks. We've all grown old and serious. And boring. So, I don't have any April Fool's Day 2009 stories to relay here.

However, the day has reminded me of the last time I played a joke on somebody. The "somebody" was my dad and my brother was my accomplice. And, this was just 3 years ago, to prove to my parents that they're kids had not grown up yet.

During one of my trips to Australia, I helped my brother move from Tasmania to Canberra. He had to drive his car the 800kms and I accompanied him. Our parents flew directly to Canberra. Anyway, during the move, we had to re-bottle his soy sauce in a used Fanta grape bottle.

As we were unpacking, we saw that my father put the soy sauce in the fridge. Aha! He thinks it is Fanta grape. Opportunity!!

After unpacking everything, my brother and I got ourselves some real Fanta grape and made a big show of drinking it, saying how cold and satisfying it was. It didn't take long for my father to ask what we were having and we told him that there was more in the fridge. It was so easy! He went straight for it. He never noticed that there weren't any bubbles there or that it was black instead of dark purple. OR that there was a strange smell.

Can you imagine what its like to take a big gulp of soy sauce when you're thinking of Fanta grape?? Obviously, my brother and I had a good laugh but at the very last second, I did have a fleeting moment of regret. My dad wasn't laughing at first but he joined us once he rinsed his mouth out. Phew!

Over the years, my brother and I have had lots of practice playing tricks on my father. He's always a good sport with things like this. We never dared to do much to my mom though. Until now....I think she's ripe for something big.

Photostory Friday - Great Grand-ness

Everything is back to normal now. My mother and grandmother went back to Malaysia this morning. Things feel a little quiet at home but we'll get used to it soon.

Usually, Aaron is constantly on the move and bouncing from one activity to the next. It surprised me that he was able to slow down his pace to match his great grandmother. He seems to know that he has to be more gentle with her and cannot demand the same sort of high energy games. Sometimes, when we're out, he insists on "helping her" and tries to provide some sort of support when she walks.

I'm thankful that the both of them have been able to spend so much time together. I took this photo of the both of them when Aaron was about 8 months old.



And here they are, two years later.




Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Four Generations Under One Roof

We have a full house here for this week. My mother and grandmother are visiting which means that we have four generations hanging out at home together all day long. Well, not all day, but we are home for a lot of the time because both Aaron and my grandmother need to nap!

Its already 11pm now and I need to head to bed. The old and young ones may get to nap but I still need to be doing all my daily chores! There isn't much time to blog because there is also so much chatting and laughing going on here.

Here are two photos from a Pempek shop we went to yesterday. The food wasn't all that great but look at all those calendars!

Picking Fights

I've heard my mother say that for teenagers, you have to pick the fights that you want to have with them. I've also read that for toddlers, you have to do the same thing. Pick the fights worth having. If it doesn't hurt anybody, then just let them do it.

We bought Aaron a new helmet a couple of days ago. And yesterday, he put it on for the first time when we cycled to the city. We kept taking photos of him and telling him how cute he looked.

I'm sure he felt good in it in the first place but all that praise must have gotten to him because he refused to take the helmet off. No matter how we tried to convince him, he insisted on walking through the city with his sparkling blue helmet firmly fasted to his head. I had to get him a pair of sunglasses too so of course, that had to stay on his face too. I wasn't going to fight it. At least he didn't want to wear a shower cap or the banana peel on his head.



Now here's another case of choosing fights (and winning in the end). Well, not so much a fight but more convincing my father that he must get a new helmet. I've tried for years but he always insisted that he was ok with it and that he didn't care that it make him look like he's wearing a tortoise shell on his head. So, I gave up and just sort of looked at the ground whenever we rode past anybody. (Actually, I don't think anybody even bothered to look at him, I was just self conscious)



Yesterday, he suddenly says "I think I'll go get that $11.99 helmet from K-mart. Too many people are staring". YAY!!! He has been the one riding with Aaron and I think the both of them together have attracted more attention than his round helmet can handle.

She's here!

My mother arrived today for a 3 week visit. As usual, she zoomed in on her little grandson. I don't mind, she brought me lots of goodies (and essentials).

I wonder what's going through Aaron's little mind. He is extremely close to my parents and has spent almost as much time with them as he has with Richard. Did he wonder where she has been all this time? Do little kids know how to 'miss'?

Last week, while I was on a video call with my mother, Aaron kept walking to the back of my desk trying to see if she was there. He wanted her to pick him up. In the end he climbed on my lap and tried to launch himself at my laptop to get near her. It was funny yet sad at the same time. He really did get quite upset when he couldn't get to her.

Look at them now!


So what sort of things would I 'order' from somebody outside Indonesia? Take a look at this:

She brought the ingredients to make Tau Fu Fah (Soyabean pudding?), some chinese dried meat (something like beef jerkeys), tasty Coon cheese, CHOCOLATES, quinoa and peanuts. We can get peanuts here but she just brought some leftover from her own house.

Happy 91st Birthday

Today is my grandmother's 91st Birthday. She no longer likes going out to celebrate so we had a little afternoon tea at our house instead.

I can't imagine what it is like to be 91 years old. How does it feel to see the world evolve over nearly a century? How does it feel to know that you probably won't see many more changes happen?

My grandmother lives with my uncle and his family but I think she still has a quite a lonely life. Everybody is out at school or work during the day. During the evenings, the family has each of their own activities. My grandmother is also quite deaf now so I think she misses out on a lot of the conversation around her. We go over to visit her every couple of days and I hope that makes some difference to her long days.

Here are a few things comes to mind when I think of her:
- Very red lipstick and toenails ... in her younger days
- Very black (and shaky) eyebrows and moderately red lipstick ... now in her old age.
- Sharp fingernails that she would use to gently pinch my fingers. I have no idea why she did that but I used to enjoy it when I was a child.
- Pork fat. This is one of her favorite foods yet she does not have high cholesterol or high blood pressure.
- A draped towel over her head when she sleeps because she doesn't want the night breezes to chill her.

The Rhythm of a Family

After yesterday's post on how quickly Aaron was growing up, I got a message from Richard asking "Why does he do all the new things when I'm not around?"

I'm sure Aaron isn't intentionally depriving his father of all these joys but I do feel a little pang of regret that I didn't go back to Palembang with Richard. After Brisbane, it took us about a month to get into the nice rhythm of being a family again.

Its not that we didn't get along. However, I did find that the time apart had some impact on the communication between Richard and I. I grew used to being without him and not having him to share all my thoughts with. And somehow, when he was around again, I became too lazy to let him know everything that was going on in my head.

I know it always takes time for Richard to re-adjust to Aaron as well. I forget that its easier for me to be able to anticipate Aaron's needs because I spend everyday with him. Richard is constantly needing to fast forward and catch up to Aaron's latest needs and latest 'favorites'.

This time apart won't be as long. Just another 3 weeks before Richard is here so I don't think the impact will be as significant as the time we were in Brisbane. I'm making the most of the time here to enjoy the rhythm of life with my parents and grandparents.

The Original Four

After 10 years, the original four have gathered once again for dinner. These are the original four members of my family; mother, father, brother and I. Dinner was around the kitchen bench. The same place where we had dinner, night after night, when we were growing up. After I left Brisbane 10 years ago, we never had the opportunity to all be 'at home' at the same time, until now.

10 years ago, I'm sure my parents never thought that the dinner conversation would one day be about cooking. The KIDS cooking. All my brother and I discussed was what we liked to cook and what we were going to cook in the next three weeks. My parents just sat there, listening mostly. My mother has been suspended from grocery shopping duties because all that will result in is 'Vegetables, with vegetables'.

There are three new additions to the family now and we love them all but it really felt very special to be that little family again. Laughing as loudly as we always have. Teasing and poking fun at each other. Mostly importantly, enjoying the rare company. I'll be enjoying a whole week of this and relishing every second.

Did Aaron recognise my brother from photos?

Yesterday's post about my brother's visit generated quite a few comments. It looks like all over the world, no matter how "violent" the childhood relationship between siblings are, people end up being the brothers and sisters their parents had imagined. Most people anyway.

Anyway, as soon as my brother stepped into the house, Aaron let out a little squeal and looked at my brother as if he were a long lost friend. We were all confused. Aaron has hardly spent any time with him yet he recognised him. Is it possible that the family photos that my mother has been showing Aaron everyday have somehow made this connection of familiarity? Aaron loved every minute with my brother and kept showing him all the 'tricks' he could do. Clapping his hands, touching his head, singing......it was really strange.

My Brother

No, thats not him. Thats the cartoon character he's been drawing since he was in primary school. I found that one under our house and then another one on the neighbor's driveway! He was a really cheeky little monkey.

Anyway, he'll be visiting us for one night tonight. 20 years ago, I couldn't stand living with him and yet today, I CLEANED the house just because he's coming. Tomorrow I will cook breakfast for him! Sheesh! What happened?! We used to fight and FIGHT...and FIGHT. Now we get along famously. (Ha ha...I like saying that...famously) Can't remember where I read it but it sounds like from some Famous Five story.

How does that happen? Fight for the first 15 years, go off to study and work, meet up again after a few years and then not fight anymore. Seriously, I don't think we've had a fight since we both lived at home......probably just small disagreements. Maybe we just don't see enough of each other.

7 years and 1 baby later

His gift to me: 91 words.


My gift to him: Pictures worth THOUSANDS of words.


But seriously, there isn't any gift that he could have purchased that would have meant more to me anyway.

My First Love Thursday Too

I just read this post on my sister in law's blog on on Love Thursday. She chose Parental Love this week and has a photo of my father and my brother wrestling....so to tie in with that, here is a photo of my father with my son. I think he let Aaron win though. He looks beat!

Hey Pa, You're the best father and grandfather anybody could ask for.

They're leaving :(

3 more days and I'll be alone again. Well, not entirely. There will still be Richard (except he'll be at work) and Aaron (who only knows how to say 'ehhhh')



I wish we were all a little more photogenic. Its incredible to have 4 generations together and I hope one day we'll manage to take a nicer photo. This one is nice but I want a NICER one. Perhaps when Aaron can stand and we don't need to all be lying on his bed :)