Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Say 'No' To Comparisons

There has been something gnawing at the back of my mind recently. Yes, Adrian does it (he chews on everything) but there is also something else.

I have been thinking that people compare babies too easily and frequently. There is a real consciousness about not comparing children and many adults are aware that they should avoid comparing themselves with others but with babies, it comes very easily. I do it all the time.

This morning, I was at a babies rhyme time at the library. Adrian was the only baby there drooling and chewing on everything in sight. The other babies were of a similar age but they all seemed to have their teething issues under control. It made me a little uncomfortable but when I step back and think about it, why should I feel uncomfortable. Its poor Adrian that is feeling the discomfort and he's just trying to make himself feel better.

Then of course, you have the people that do direct comparisons of their baby and yours. That, I find annoying.

The other type of comparison is of course between siblings. Everyone knows this is a terrible thing to do and I certainly don't plan on doing it. But I think I need to go a step further.

I find myself having conversations within earshot of Aaron where I've talked about what he did or didn't do when he was Adrian's age. They are just observations but I do wonder what the effect on Aaron is. For example, he has started to chew on things too.

So, from now on, if we're talking about Adrian, its just going to be about him. A new conversation will have to be started if we talk about Aaron. Actually, we've always tried not to talk about Aaron in front of him but, we often forget. Especially since Adrian came into the picture.

If you ever catch me comparing them here on my blog, send me the link to this post.


Bilbo said...

You'll remember this when both boys are teenagers and you have the urge to ask one of them "why can't you be more like your brother?" Trust me on this one.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Comparisons are not good. Everything is individual.

Mike said...

Remember - billions of versions of normal