Aaron and I have been reading quite a few fairy tales recently. As a grown up, I'm now wondering why these stories with plots involving theft/manslaughter (Jack and the Beanstalk), murder (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) and kidnapping (Hansel and Gretel) are such old favorites. Perhaps its because there sometimes is a moral to be learned at the end. However, these stories are usually told to young children that don't question the behavior and so the grown ups may not need to address the darker themes. The happily-ever-afters at the end resolve any of the tensions that a child might feel.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not keeping Aaron away from fairy tales. We love them! When I'm in the mood, I do try to talk about whats right or wrong in the stories.
The one that I seem to have most issues with is actually 'Jack and the Beanstalk'. The beans led Jack to the giant's home. He then broke into the home, stole from the giant and in the end killed him! Is that not a violent story? Jack and his mother may have lived happily ever after but what about the giant's wife?
As a child, my favorite was 'The Princess and the Pea'. I have no idea why. Maybe it was the easiest way to marry a prince. The other ways involved lots of hard work and a fairy godmother (Cinderella), dying (Snow White and Sleeping Beauty) or kissing a frog (The Frog Prince).
Two of my least favorite ones are 'The Little Mermaid' and 'The Little Match Girl'. The Disney version of 'The Little Mermaid' has a happily-ever-after but thirty years ago, my little Ladybird book had the mermaid going up to the heavens. While I only disliked 'The Little Mermaid', because of the ending, I can honestly say that I hated the story of 'The Little Match Girl'. After the first time, I never wanted it read to me and I never read it again. A story about a little girl who died selling matches in the cold is not exactly a comforting story to go to bed with. I saw the story in a new book that somebody gave Aaron but I haven't read it to him yet.
For tonight, I'll be going to bed with the name 'Dummling' in my head. In case you've forgotten, its from 'The Golden Goose'.
Over to you now, which fairy tales did you like or dislike?
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Pointers To Younger Self
Right now, I think nobody loves me more than my two sons. We spent the whole day playing at home today and there were lots and lots of cuddles. If I gave Aaron a cuddle, Adrian would come crawling up for one too. If I gave Adrian a kiss, Aaron would quickly come for his one as well. Its a wonderful feeling to mean so much to these innocent little babies.
As they napped, I thought of how my approach to being a mother has evolved since Aaron was a baby. I'm definitely more laid back in my approach. I don't expect as much of myself and I don't stress about the little things as much. I sit back, watch and absorb the moment a LOT MORE.
So, here are a few pointers that if I could, I would like to send back in time, to my 30 year old self - the first time mom.
* Don't make grand plans. Life needs to be as simple as possible with kids around. There is always too much stress involved if you plan something elaborate and then try to hold yourself to it while things go awry with the kids.
* If you've done nothing all day except, feed, play and nap with the kids, there is no need to feel unproductive. You have given love, time and immeasurable amounts of patience.
* Car time is useful for sitting back and relaxing, even if you're the driver. Strap the kids in and then get in your zone. No matter how they scream, there is nothing you can do for them so you might as well take a few deep breaths.
* Spend more time just watching, observing and absorbing what the kids are doing. They are living in the moment and you definitely should too.
* Just accept the whole sleep (or lack of sleep) thing. Don't try to fix it. Enough said.
In a nutshell, I think first time mothers should be reminded to enjoy their babies. All the advise on how to schedule, feed, educate, blah blah blah will just stress a first time mom and get in the way of thoroughly enjoying these early years.
I really had a very enjoyable day and feel extremely blessed to have two healthy and happy children. No wonder they call them bundles of joy.
As they napped, I thought of how my approach to being a mother has evolved since Aaron was a baby. I'm definitely more laid back in my approach. I don't expect as much of myself and I don't stress about the little things as much. I sit back, watch and absorb the moment a LOT MORE.
So, here are a few pointers that if I could, I would like to send back in time, to my 30 year old self - the first time mom.
* Don't make grand plans. Life needs to be as simple as possible with kids around. There is always too much stress involved if you plan something elaborate and then try to hold yourself to it while things go awry with the kids.
* If you've done nothing all day except, feed, play and nap with the kids, there is no need to feel unproductive. You have given love, time and immeasurable amounts of patience.
* Car time is useful for sitting back and relaxing, even if you're the driver. Strap the kids in and then get in your zone. No matter how they scream, there is nothing you can do for them so you might as well take a few deep breaths.
* Spend more time just watching, observing and absorbing what the kids are doing. They are living in the moment and you definitely should too.
* Just accept the whole sleep (or lack of sleep) thing. Don't try to fix it. Enough said.
In a nutshell, I think first time mothers should be reminded to enjoy their babies. All the advise on how to schedule, feed, educate, blah blah blah will just stress a first time mom and get in the way of thoroughly enjoying these early years.
I really had a very enjoyable day and feel extremely blessed to have two healthy and happy children. No wonder they call them bundles of joy.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Unexpectedly Uplifting Statements
As I've often complained here on my blog, people (family, friends and strangers alike) like to tell me that I need to get myself a daughter. People usually remark that the two boys are going to be a handful and that a daughter will be easier. More importantly, I can dress her up in pretty dresses! What they forget is that even if I decide to have another child and if it was a girl, I would still have the two sons. And, they would probably be harder to handle because I'd have even less time seeing I'd have to be shopping for all those pretty dresses for the girl.
Anyway, a lovely lady surprised me the other day. I have recently started going back to my clogging classes and on my first day back, this lady asked me where Aaron was. Previously, I brought him along to the classes but I thought he might be too distracting now. He had become very friendly with everyone and chats with them the entire time. So, I told the lady why I didn't bring Aaron along and she said these words that made my day:
"I don't like boys who behave themselves. Those who sit quietly in the corner are no fun at all."
And, she really meant it. She likes the energy that little boys bring to a place. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that she has three grown sons but whatever the reason, those simple words somehow made me feel very happy. (And somewhat proud of my cheeky son.) That affirmation amidst all the usual comments that I receive was extremely refreshing and made me feel a little less apologetic about the disruption that the two of them sometimes cause.
Anyway, a lovely lady surprised me the other day. I have recently started going back to my clogging classes and on my first day back, this lady asked me where Aaron was. Previously, I brought him along to the classes but I thought he might be too distracting now. He had become very friendly with everyone and chats with them the entire time. So, I told the lady why I didn't bring Aaron along and she said these words that made my day:
"I don't like boys who behave themselves. Those who sit quietly in the corner are no fun at all."
And, she really meant it. She likes the energy that little boys bring to a place. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that she has three grown sons but whatever the reason, those simple words somehow made me feel very happy. (And somewhat proud of my cheeky son.) That affirmation amidst all the usual comments that I receive was extremely refreshing and made me feel a little less apologetic about the disruption that the two of them sometimes cause.
Monday, September 6, 2010
First Words : Mum Mum Mum Mum
Adrian is talking!
"Mum Mum Mum Mum!"
It sounds like he's calling me but he's actually asking for food. I don't know what other people's baby talk for food is but ours has been "Mum Mum". Actually, I hear it a lot in Malaysia amongst the Chinese so maybe its a Chinese thing. It mimics the way our mouths move when we chew.
Now, whenever Adrian sees me getting his food ready, he gets very excited and goes "Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum ... ". If I'm a bit slow in feeding him, he says the same thing too.
Sometimes, when we leave him on the floor to play while we have our meals, he'll quickly crawl over and yell out "Mum Mum Mum Mum ...". Its so cute! (You'll have to take my word on that.)
Elizabeth left a comment some time ago saying that "the days are long but the months are quick". This is so true. Before I know it, Adrian is going to be walking around and yelling out all kinds of other words. Just look at Aaron, he's running around and sometimes yelling out words that I'd rather he didn't yell out!
Here's the latest photo of Adrian. Meal times are always so hectic and messy that I haven't pulled out my camera yet. I really should one of these days since Adrian's first words are for food.
"Mum Mum Mum Mum!"
It sounds like he's calling me but he's actually asking for food. I don't know what other people's baby talk for food is but ours has been "Mum Mum". Actually, I hear it a lot in Malaysia amongst the Chinese so maybe its a Chinese thing. It mimics the way our mouths move when we chew.
Now, whenever Adrian sees me getting his food ready, he gets very excited and goes "Mum Mum Mum Mum Mum ... ". If I'm a bit slow in feeding him, he says the same thing too.
Sometimes, when we leave him on the floor to play while we have our meals, he'll quickly crawl over and yell out "Mum Mum Mum Mum ...". Its so cute! (You'll have to take my word on that.)
Elizabeth left a comment some time ago saying that "the days are long but the months are quick". This is so true. Before I know it, Adrian is going to be walking around and yelling out all kinds of other words. Just look at Aaron, he's running around and sometimes yelling out words that I'd rather he didn't yell out!
Here's the latest photo of Adrian. Meal times are always so hectic and messy that I haven't pulled out my camera yet. I really should one of these days since Adrian's first words are for food.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
My Superhero
Today is Father's Day in Australia. So for today, let me tell you
about mine.
Yes, my dad is a superhero (and so am I since I'm his daughter). We have super parking powers. I'm not kidding! Whenever the both of us are in the same car, we always find parking spots. It doesn't matter where we are or how crowded the place is. When we're together, we always find a spot quickly. AND, its always a good spot where we don't need to walk very far to get to wherever we're going.
I've attributed the super parking powers to the fact that my father and I are always in a good mood when we're together. If we're in the car together, we've probably spent most of the journey talking and laughing. Therefore, the car is oozing positive vibes. You've all heard about positive thinking right? When we enter a car park and start looking around for a spot all that positive energy must do something for us.
My father is the most easy going person I know. I almost want to say that he is never in a bad mood but there are some rare times when he gets cranky. I know he worries about things too but the difference between him and many other people is that he seems to be able to worry about one thing at a time. Some may say that it is because he is lucky in life but it is also his laid back attitude towards things. And the fact that he looks to have fun every day.
He has been the type of father that has taught by example and guided us without being pushy. You can probably guess that he was not the disciplinarian at home. He is the fun parent! Even today, he is the one to go to if you're looking for some junk food. I can already see that I'm much more like my mother than my father in terms of my parenting style but I hope that some of his attitudes towards life has rubbed off on me too.
about mine.
Yes, my dad is a superhero (and so am I since I'm his daughter). We have super parking powers. I'm not kidding! Whenever the both of us are in the same car, we always find parking spots. It doesn't matter where we are or how crowded the place is. When we're together, we always find a spot quickly. AND, its always a good spot where we don't need to walk very far to get to wherever we're going.
I've attributed the super parking powers to the fact that my father and I are always in a good mood when we're together. If we're in the car together, we've probably spent most of the journey talking and laughing. Therefore, the car is oozing positive vibes. You've all heard about positive thinking right? When we enter a car park and start looking around for a spot all that positive energy must do something for us.
My father is the most easy going person I know. I almost want to say that he is never in a bad mood but there are some rare times when he gets cranky. I know he worries about things too but the difference between him and many other people is that he seems to be able to worry about one thing at a time. Some may say that it is because he is lucky in life but it is also his laid back attitude towards things. And the fact that he looks to have fun every day.
He has been the type of father that has taught by example and guided us without being pushy. You can probably guess that he was not the disciplinarian at home. He is the fun parent! Even today, he is the one to go to if you're looking for some junk food. I can already see that I'm much more like my mother than my father in terms of my parenting style but I hope that some of his attitudes towards life has rubbed off on me too.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Hokkien Lesson : Kiasu
"Kiasu" is a very common Hokkien word that is used in Malaysia. Literally, it means "fear of losing". It doesn't just mean being a sore loser. For example, it can be used to describe people who make sure they are the first to arrive at a food festival so they won't miss out on the 'good stuff'.
Hokkien is one of the many Chinese dialects (like Cantonese). You don't need to be speaking Hokkien to use "Kiasu". It can be slotted into any English sentence so I guess its a Manglish (Malaysian English) word as well. For example, Aaron is one very kiasu four year old!
In Aaron's case, its more of being a sore loser rather than being one of those Loser people who annoy other people. I can remember being a little kiasu when I was a child but he seems to find it much, much harder to lose than I can remember.
I noticed this behavior awhile back when I taught him how to play Tic Tac Toe. He tried his best to first, cheat, and then when I explained that was wrong, he tried to sweet talk me into making my moves according to where he pointed. Finally, he just refused to play. Since then I have consciously tried to play more games with him. The other day, when we played a game involving dice, he tried to place it with the 6 facing up whenever I turned around to take a look at Adrian! And today, with Snakes and Ladders, he conveniently side stepped all the snakes! Cheeky little guy!
I guess its a natural part of growing up and some people just feel the need to win a little more acutely than others. I think its good to be competitive but we also need to learn how to lose gracefully. Sometimes I know I find it hard to lose but I'm old enough to know how to hide it.
Hokkien is one of the many Chinese dialects (like Cantonese). You don't need to be speaking Hokkien to use "Kiasu". It can be slotted into any English sentence so I guess its a Manglish (Malaysian English) word as well. For example, Aaron is one very kiasu four year old!
In Aaron's case, its more of being a sore loser rather than being one of those Loser people who annoy other people. I can remember being a little kiasu when I was a child but he seems to find it much, much harder to lose than I can remember.
I noticed this behavior awhile back when I taught him how to play Tic Tac Toe. He tried his best to first, cheat, and then when I explained that was wrong, he tried to sweet talk me into making my moves according to where he pointed. Finally, he just refused to play. Since then I have consciously tried to play more games with him. The other day, when we played a game involving dice, he tried to place it with the 6 facing up whenever I turned around to take a look at Adrian! And today, with Snakes and Ladders, he conveniently side stepped all the snakes! Cheeky little guy!
I guess its a natural part of growing up and some people just feel the need to win a little more acutely than others. I think its good to be competitive but we also need to learn how to lose gracefully. Sometimes I know I find it hard to lose but I'm old enough to know how to hide it.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My Occupation And A Little More On Air Travel
Ever since I stopped working, I always have trouble filling in the "Occupation" field in forms. Why do people always need to know what you do anyway? Or if you do anything at all? I have a strong dislike for the word "housewife". I don't have an issue with the role but I just don't think its a nice word. So, I usually put down the marginally better "homemaker". Sometimes I'd put "unemployed" just to be different.
I was opening a new bank account today but instead of filling in a paper form, the bank guy was filling out my details on the computer. When it came to the "Occupation" question, I just mumbled off "homemaker" but he said it wasn't an option in his drop down selection. "Housewife" wasn't there either. After looking around, the guy found "Domestic Duties". So they've came up with an alternative to "housewife" and "homemaker" but it wasn't any better. That title could apply to maids and cleaners too. In this day of inflated titles, why did they DE-flate mine? Is it so far fetched to put down "Operations Manager - Home" in that drop down selection?
Anyway, such is life. Now, back to the topic of travel! Take a look at this! The latest addition to Singapore's Changi Airport is a humongous slide. It is supposedly the worlds tallest slide and is targeted at bored adult travelers! Standing four storeys tall, it shoots you down as fast as 6 meters per second.
So, most adults would prefer not to be seated with kids but would perhaps like to play like little kids to relieve their boredom during long transit times. Hmmmmm.....
It sounds like a lot of fun but the article says that it costs $25 for two rides. Thats a bit steep and I'm not sure I'd pay up for those few seconds of fun.
Anyway, I get plenty of entertainment people watching at airports. And back in the good old days where I didn't travel with a constantly chatting little boy, it was also the time I did all my day dreaming. I used to feel guilty sitting around day dreaming in my normal days at work or at home because that would be classified as a waste of time. But at an airport, what else is there to do?
I was opening a new bank account today but instead of filling in a paper form, the bank guy was filling out my details on the computer. When it came to the "Occupation" question, I just mumbled off "homemaker" but he said it wasn't an option in his drop down selection. "Housewife" wasn't there either. After looking around, the guy found "Domestic Duties". So they've came up with an alternative to "housewife" and "homemaker" but it wasn't any better. That title could apply to maids and cleaners too. In this day of inflated titles, why did they DE-flate mine? Is it so far fetched to put down "Operations Manager - Home" in that drop down selection?
Anyway, such is life. Now, back to the topic of travel! Take a look at this! The latest addition to Singapore's Changi Airport is a humongous slide. It is supposedly the worlds tallest slide and is targeted at bored adult travelers! Standing four storeys tall, it shoots you down as fast as 6 meters per second.
So, most adults would prefer not to be seated with kids but would perhaps like to play like little kids to relieve their boredom during long transit times. Hmmmmm.....
It sounds like a lot of fun but the article says that it costs $25 for two rides. Thats a bit steep and I'm not sure I'd pay up for those few seconds of fun.
Anyway, I get plenty of entertainment people watching at airports. And back in the good old days where I didn't travel with a constantly chatting little boy, it was also the time I did all my day dreaming. I used to feel guilty sitting around day dreaming in my normal days at work or at home because that would be classified as a waste of time. But at an airport, what else is there to do?
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