Monday, May 4, 2009

Reminders Of The Early Days

I saw a one month old baby yesterday. He was still tiny, pinkish and pretty much helpless. As I looked at him, I couldn't help realizing that I don't have any real memories of Aaron from that age. All I have is a general hazy idea of that period but no solid images of any particular moments in my mind. I felt a little sad for not burning things into my brain at the time. Instead, what I recall is nursing him about 20 times a day and then spending the remainder of that time trying to put him to sleep. Thank goodness I have hundreds of photos of those early, sleep deprived days.

The long ago time when he didn't move much.

We also met up with some friends who had a 13 month old. He's on the verge of taking those first few steps. I was carrying him for a little while and he pretty much leaned his body in every direction to get me to go wherever his little legs weren't taking him yet. I remember that age well and have many more vivid memories of Aaron. Thank goodness we were getting more sleep by then even though lots more hard work was around the corner.

First contact with grass.

And when I went to bed last night, I saw my own 32 month old who is no longer a baby. We are so far from that 1 month and even the 13 month old stage. Just like every other night, I like to go snuggle with Aaron for awhile. After all the early months, struggling to make him sleep (and keep him sleeping), I often find myself hoping that he will wake up. Some times I feel as if I wouldn't mind at all if he woke up at 11pm and wanted to go make a bridge with his legos. (Moms of those littler ones must think I'm crazy.) On nights that he does wake up, I'm happy to cuddle him to sleep again. During the day, I do look forward to his nap time but once I've had a bit of a break, I want him to be busy around the house again. By 11pm, we've usually been clear of him for about 4 hours and I guess I start to miss that noisy little boy.

I was chatting with John on Facebook a couple of days ago and he mentioned that going to the Prom (or its future equivalent for Aaron) will happen sooner than I think. I've got about 13 years left before that happens but I am sure he is right. He also has a very apt post today on the simple pleasures in life. I don't know why but recently, I keep wanting to have simple days with Aaron.

He can now help me weed.


Bilbo said...

What a nice post! I have long forgotten what my children were like when they were so small (my youngest is now 32, argh!), but now I can experience much of the adventure again through my grandchildren. And the best part is that this time, I don't have to change any diapers I don't want to! Oh, and by the way - Aaron may like to help you to weed now, but the day will come when he'll expect an allowance for doing it...and then only when you finally prod him into it. Sigh.

fiona said...

those newborn days were exhausting!
i'm gearing up for backache days...

John said...

great post Amanda

elizabeth embracing life said...

So thoughtful to ponder those days of past. I have journaled so much in the last 20 years. Sometimes I read something I wrote and am so glad that I journaled it because I would never have remembered that delicate little moment with one of my children. Emerson is rarely sent back to his own bed. He's my last and soon those little middle of the night whispers..."I have to go potty mama" will be gone. So believe it or not, no matter how tired I am I get up with him, chat with him and often snuggle him back to sleep in our own bed.

Nap Warden said...

I remember when they didn't move I can't keep up with them!