Friday, November 21, 2008

The Irony of Alone Time to a Mom

One of my frequent complaints about being a mom to a 2 yr old is that I never get any time to myself. I don't think I verbalize this complaint much but I definitely think it A LOT.

The past few weeks have actually been great because my mother has been looking after Aaron in the mornings so that I can get to the gym. I usually rush there and back, sometimes stopping to pick up groceries. All in all, I'm probably gone for 1.5 hrs. And let me tell you, I have been enjoying every minute of that time to myself. The solitary drive in the car, the freedom to walk without "Aaron herding" and of course the time working out.

The gym is in a shopping center and I often look into the shops but never stop to browse. And of course, I wish to myself (many times) that I will one day be able to shop like I used to. To wander aimlessly. To spend too long in the book section. To try on the clothes instead of just holding it out and looking at it.

Well, that day came today. My mother wanted to take Aaron somewhere so she needed the car and would drop me off a little earlier and then would pick me up again later. I thought "Great! I can shop. Maybe go to the library as well. AND, I can get to the gym"

I got there and headed first to the library. I looked for a book I saw on the e-catalog, not there, looked through the magazine section, read one article on how to get sexy hair in 5 minutes and then thought, I'd better leave so I can look through the shops. I zoomed out and made a beeline for the shops that I had taken mental note of. They were probably covered in 10 minutes.

I looked at my watch and I was still 30 mins early for my class.

What now?

I honestly didn't know what I wanted to do with that time. Wandering aimlessly through the shops wasn't as enjoyable as I remembered it to be. I had done all I thought I wanted to do and there was time left over. I wracked my brain and remembered that it would be nice to get Aaron a Wiggles magazine. The newsagents didn't carry any. 25 minutes left.

In the end, I gave up and just went early to the gym to do some cardio first. All the time thinking "Am I sure there is nothing else I want to do. I have all this bonus alone time. Its what I long for. Why am I not using it????"

I think I should just put it down to motherhood making me more efficient with my time and less frivolous with my wants.


elizabeth embracing life said...

This is such a terrific post in that we do become more effecient with our time and the "need" for the stuff is no longer there. When I get alone time it just means that I don't have to do what I normally do, and that in itself is freeing, even if I am still doing those things. Did that make any kind of sense at all? I am glad that you are getting some time.

Mike said...

"What now?"

I think it's time for another kid if you have that much free time!!

fiona said...

the woes of a mum, so well described!