Thursday, December 13, 2007

Splotchy's Story Meme

Serina Hope tagged me for this installment of Splotchy's Story Meme. According to Splotchy, "Here's what I would like to do. I want to create a story that branches out in a variety of different, unexpected ways. I don't know how realistic it is, but that's what I'm aiming for. Hopefully, at least one thread of the story can make a decent number of hops before it dies out." You can read all of the details here.

I woke up hungry. I pulled my bedroom curtain to the side and looked out on a hazy morning. I dragged myself into the kitchen, in search of something to eat. I reached for a jar of applesauce sitting next to the sink, and found it very cold to the touch. I opened the jar and realized it was frozen. (Splotchy)

"That's strange," I said out loud to no one in particular. My fingers slowly reached towards the jar again. My body experienced a wave of apprehension as weighted blanket covering me as I did so. The jar was completely frozen.I picked it up and stared at it, my fingers stung with little knives of chill.
"What the..." again I spoke aloud. Then I realized what had happened with a shock. Suddenly the jar flew from my hand. It shattered creating a collage-like mixture of frozen applesauce and glass shards on my kitchen floor, the lid lazily rolling to a stop across the room.(FranIAm)

I half noticed at first glimpse that there was something odd amidst the solidified apple sauce as I reached for the broom and the dust pan. As I knelt down to clean up the frozen mess, I could clearly see a tiny figure within the goopy mess. It was a human eye, with tiny arms and legs! I resisted my initial urge to pick it up with my hand, and then reached down to scoop it up with the dustpan. The eye looked up at me in horror and gave out a frightening high pitched screech as it ran for the living room.I was dumbfounded by this turn of events.
I didn't even like applesauce - And I had guests coming for dinner! It would not be proper to have a homunculus eyeball running around during the appetizer - I had to think fast. I crept into the living room so as to not startle the small creature. The eyeball was under the coffee table, peeking out from behind one of table legs. When I approached, it quickly darted under the couch!I got on my hands and knees to look under the couch, but I could not see the eye through all of the old newspapers and dust bunnies that had accumulated under there. I had to hurry! the guests were coming at seven o'clock, and I had not even started the buffalo chicken skewers with blue cheese dipping sauce yet! Not to mention the couscous and the broccoli noodle salad. (Zaius Nation)

I shook my head and leaned back against the wall. Surely this couldn’t be happening, surely there isn’t an anthropomorphic eyeball running around under my couch. It just couldn’t be real, could it?
“Ahem,” a little voice squeaked. “Ahem.”
I looked all around for the source of the voice. I finally found that it was from the eyeball peering around the back of the couch. I leaned in and looked at it closer. It still appeared to be uneasy (I mean, I’m sure that’s how it appeared, but then again I’m not all that certain about behavior patterns of walking eyeballs.
“Did you say something?” I asked it.
“You’re not going to poke me are you?” it asked. “I hate getting poked.”
“Uh no,” I answered dumbfounded. “I won’t poke you.”
“And you’re not going to lock me away in a jar of applesauce are you?”
“No, I’m not going to do that,” I replied, still bewildered by the sight in front of me.
“OK.” He made the eyeball equivalent of a nod, hitched up a pair of nonexistent trousers, adjusted the chimerical hat on his head, and walked up to me. “I am forever in debt to you, sir, for freeing me from the confines of that jar.”
“OK, sure,” I smiled lamely. “How’d you get in there?”
“The evil wizard trapped me in there,” he answered. “He knows the only way to trap a geneye is to use a jar of applesauce.”
“You’re… you’re a geneye,” I managed to blurt out. I may not get the appetizers done, but this may be one heckuva party anyways.
“At you service,” it bowed. “And to thank you for freeing me, I would like to reward you with two wishes.”
“Oh, so you’re like a genie.” It all started to make sense to me now. No, not really.
“Yes,” it rolled its eye. “Like a genie, only we’re geneyes. They sure do know how to warp a good story in Hollywood, don’t they?”
“Yeah,” I agreed, again dumbfoundedly. “So I get two wishes? What about three?”
“Ugh!” the geneye slapped the top of its head, or the top of its eyeball at least. “You get two. Two. Only two. That’s how it works. And no wishing for more wishes, we’re onto that. Aladdin tried that once, it wasn’t pretty.”
“OK, so I get two, let me think,” I said thoughtfully. Screw the party, this is way more interesting.
“Yeah, hurry up, I don’t have all day,” the magical homunculus eyeball tapped it’s foot. “I’ve got places to go.”
“OK, OK,” I answered. Well, I could always wish for a lot of money, except that never works in the stories. The villain always wishes for riches and gets trapped in the cave with the gold, or sent to the bottom of the sea with it or audited by the IRS because of it. As much as I’d like to pay off the mortgage, I don’t think I can.
“Well?” it asked impatiently.
“I want peace on Earth and good will toward men,” I say with a forfeiting shrug.“Peace on Earth and good will toward men?” it repeated.
“Is that one wish or two?”
“One,” I replied. “You know, ‘tis the season and all.”
“Nice choice,” it nodded. Then the geneye snapped its fingers.
“It is done.”
I felt it. For one moment, I felt nothing but peace and joy all around me. Others felt it, too but no one would ever be able to explain it. All around the world, people stopped what they were doing and just enjoyed the moment. Evil men stopped thinking evil thoughts and just smiled nicely. The hurt, the sick, and all who were in pain be it physical, mental, or spiritual, felt the warmth of a brief reprieve. Bells rang. Angels sang. Then I felt it end.
“Hey, that was nice,” I said. “Why didn’t it last?”
“Come on,” the magical being snorted. “I’m not that powerful. You got one more wish.”
One more wish. What should I wish for? Hmmm. (Jon, Intergalactic Gladiator )

"How about 'as many wishes as I'd like?"
"Hey! That's cheating." the Eye said, "It's not allowed in the Geneye Code Of Conduct. It's one wish only, and that's your lot."
"How about 'trying to understand the opposite sex?'" I suggested.
"Too tough" it replied, "No being is as capable of such an undertaking."
I sighed and thought. This was going to be harder than I imagined. I wanted this wish to be a good one that was value for money.
Suddenly I thought about it. Friendship."How about friendship?"
"It's possible." said the Eye.
"Would it last a long time?"
"Oh, sure." the Eye replied, "It's not like that peace and goodwill one where it applies to all. A wish like that means you'd always have good friends."
"That sounds great." I said, "I'll select as my other wish to always have friends, and no enemies,"
"Fair enough" and the Eye clapped his fingers.Suddenly the telephone started ringing.... Captain Picard

"Let me guess, that is a friend calling?," I inquired with a raised eyebrow towards the Eye.
"Well, it definitely isn't an enemy.," the eye said shortly, rolling around to check out the room as I sank down onto my knees. "Aren't you going to get that?," it asked after the third ring.
"I couldn't possible talk to someone else right now.," I said shaking my head. I couldn't quite shake the feeling that I was losing my mind. I had to get rid of this eye.
"You seem to be doing a fine job talking to me.," the Eye said as is sauntered over to check out a magazine that was lying beside the couch.
"Now that you mention that...aren't genies..or geneyes..or whatever supposed to leave once the wishes have been made?," I asked slowly.
The Eye scoffed at me, as much as an eye can scoff at least, and sauntered towards the bookcase.
"You have a lot of books. These could keep me busy for a while.," it said simply as it began to check out a few of the titles on the lower shelves.
"Don't you have somewhere to go? Somewhere to be?," I asked, struggling to keep the desperation out of my voice.
"Where in the world would I need to be? I am an eye with legs. I have been cramped up in a frozen jar of applesauce for the last hundred years. I just granted YOU two wishes. Surely I deserve a little break, don't you think?," the Eye asked as it focused its unblinking gaze directly on me.
The phone began to ring again. I could also hear my cell phone ringing from the bedroom. I couldn't look away from the Eye. (Serina Hope)

"So, have you got any eye drops? I need a bath to get rid of this applesauce. Its really starting to sting." Both of the Eye's arms were swishing around like a pair of wipers. I continued staring at the Eye. This GENEYE. Meanwhile the phones are all ringing and I can hear my Yahoo messenger pinging with people wanting to chat.
"Hellooooo. I'm starting to weep here." said the Eye while impatiently tapping one foot.

I had an opened bottle of Visine in the refrigerator. Probably more than 30 days old but I'm sure he'll survive. All those years in the applesauce didn't seem to do much damage. I squeeze all the Visine out into a shot glass and take it back to the Eye.

"Ah.....whats this?" asks the Eye
"Visine. Its for irritated, red, dry, itchy eyes. Should help to clean you up"

At this, the Eye dips both hands in to the glass and starts sloshing Visine out onto himself. "Do you mind? A little privacy please." I didn't realize I was still staring at him. I turn away while thinking about what privacy he was referring to. He was an eyeball with two arms and two legs. He didn't have any clothes on in the first place.

I turn as I hear the shuffling sound of papers. The Eye has finished his bath and is trying his best to turn the pages of one of my People's magazine. He succeeds and walks up to the top of the page. The Eye is now walking around the page eyeballing all the photos of Jennifer Love Hewitt...(The Milk Bar)

Its the holiday season and I know people are busy but hopefully this story can be continued. I'm tagging:
Heidi Hyde

Even if I didn't tag you but you feel like continuing this story, please do so and let me know. I'd love to know what happens to the Eye the Geneye in the end. How will the story end anyway? How will the last person know they are the last?


Splotchy said...

For some reason, I really, really love the GENEYE looking at a People Magazine.

Thanks a lot for contributing to the story.

Kellan said...

This was so COOL! At first I did not like that it was an EYE and then I began to really get into the story and love the little guy - cute story unfolding. I will TRY - I'd love to contribute - thanks so much for thinking of me. Kellan

Amanda said...

Splotchy: I'm very happy you approve!

Kellan: I was like you...not liking the eye at first. But he is sounding cuter and cuter...