Finally, I've put action to words....almost.

Today, Richard and I visited an orphanage about 15 mins drive from our house. We went there hoping to volunteer our time. Unfortunately, I got the impression that they would prefer it if we donated money instead.

The place is run by one lady (with a couple of helpers) and there are 60 children there ranging from 3-17 yrs. It was basically a very big house with 4 medium sized rooms, large hall and kitchen. There were only around 10 children there when we visited as the rest were in school. It seems to be more of a shelter instead of an orphanage because none of the kids are ever adopted. Even if people wanted to adopt them, this lady doesn't allow it. I don't have any photos to share because it felt too awkward to take any.

My impression of the place: neat, clean, bare, too small for 60 children, devoid of furniture. Supposedly, the place survives on the lady's daily business of selling garlic in the markets, hiring out some donated wedding furniture and whatever donations they receive. They intentionally don't do any fund raising but hope instead that word will spread of their existence. There must be more to it but we couldn't find out anything else and didn't want to be too nosey.

I have to say that I'm disappointed because I really really wanted to give my time. Yes, money does help them get from day to day and is their top priority. I can understand that but I'm uncomfortable with just giving money because I can't see where it goes. I'll probably end up sending them some rice but what I would really like to do is help them find a way to generate another source of income. Y'know, the whole "Give them a fish and they eat for a day. Teach them to fish and they eat everyday" kind of thing.

Anyway, I'll keep thinking. And looking out for other places that need volunteers.

My Question for God

Two days ago, my Happy Post was triggered by a newborn baby and his mother. I'm still happy and I'm sure the new mother is also happy but I heard from her sister today that she had to go through 20hrs of labor and is now dealing with all the pain of recovery and breastfeeding. Not unusual I suppose. I went through 18hrs with Aaron and I can recall that pain in an instant. Anyway, her sister is not a mother (yet) and asked the question "Why would ANY woman want to go through childbirth?" There are as many answers to that as there are women. And thats not the question of the day anyway.

Before I had Aaron, before I THOUGHT of having him and probably around the time that I told myself that I will never want to experience childbirth, I had this question for God. This will be the first thing I ask him if I ever meet him. Its not that I'm questioning him, I just want to know.

Why do women bear the bulk of the procreating responsibility?
PMS. Pregnancy (together with morning sickness, constant bathroom breaks, insomnia, stretch marks, plus 1000 other things). CHILDBIRTH. Breastfeeding. Menopause. Notice how there is physical pain involved with ALL of these? Maybe my question is actually more like "Why is there so much pain involved for women?"

I'm not here to say that women are superior, deserve more from men or anything like that so guys, don't leave me any nasty comments. This is purely a question about our physiological differences. Plenty of men, including my own MAN, make up for the lack of physical pain they had to go through by enduring the verbal assaults from the women going through the pain. I know they also do their best to carry out all the slave duties around the house once the baby is out. Plenty of dads out there are amazingly hands on.

Let me know what you think. Maybe God surfs the internet too and will send me an answer.

The Drain Woman in me

I'm loud and I know it. Not over the top loud but just not 'girly'. I talk loudly, laugh loudly and hardly whisper. This is what my mother tells me. She also has this theory that its because there was a group of "Hung Koi Por" outside our house everyday when I was learning to speak.

"Hung Koi Por" is Cantonese for "Drain Woman". In the late seventies, we lived in Ipoh, Malaysia and all the houses there had an open drain (not the gross kind) running along the front. They were clean enough for my brother and I to play in when I was about five. They were this clean because the "Drain Women" worked on them everyday. Keeping the grass out of it, stopping any weeds from growing and clearing out any rubbish that might have fallen in. They always worked in groups and of course would chat. LOUDLY.

So now, my mother keeps telling me to keep it down or I'll pass on my Drain Woman ways to Aaron. I can't control it though, its just my natural voice volume. And if I'm excited....I get really loud. At least I don't go high pitched. When I laugh, I prefer the open-mouthed, full forced, laugh with all my strength type. There's no fun in a muffled chuckle.

It might be too late for Aaron anyway. He has started to throw his head back and lets out really loud laughs. I wonder where he picked THAT up from?! And for a few days now, he sometimes carries on his babbling with the volume turned WAY UP. Its so funny to watch and listen to. I guess I encourage it too but I really don't want to button up that enthusiasm.

Here he is making some sort of basketball grunt! He must have seen that in the park...I don't do that!

I am HAPPY

I'm feeling extremely happy and contented this evening. There was nothing special about today but I somehow have this feeling of being blessed. Its strange to feel thankful and grateful without anything specific triggering the feeling.

Now that I've started blogging about it, there is a thought forming in my head that perhaps it is due to a photo of a newborn. Earlier today, I was looking at some photos of an old friend and her new baby. Actually, she's the sister of one of my best friends and I haven't been in touch with her (the mother) for years. Therefore, I know nothing of what she's like now, how her pregnancy was or how she was feeling about the upcoming birth. Nothing that would influence my thoughts as I looked at her photos.

However, there was this one photo of her looking at the baby where I could see how thrilled she was to be holding such a precious gift. I think I recognized in her face, the same awe and amazement that I felt when Aaron was a day old. That flashback must have released a batch of happy hormones in me. I never imagined that such a cheeky little 24hr responsibility would be able to have such a positive impact on me.

The happy feelings don't end with Aaron either. I just have this general thankful feeling for:
1) The family I have
2) The few good friends who have stuck around over the years
3) The peace that I have enjoyed my whole life
4) The privileges I had growing up
5) The comfortable life I lead
6) The little luxuries I can afford

Have a Happy Day!

Violence does breed violence (except in my brother and me)

My mother used to buy these rattan canes that were hung threateningly around the house. I remember standing next to my brother with our mother sitting in front of us. She'd have the cane in hand and go through the list of all our evils. At the same time, she'd have us pulling on our earlobes and we'd be there with both hands pulling down hard. After all the crimes were recited, she'd ask for one hand. And we would, dutifully, stick an upturned palm out and she would flick the cane down (I'd like to say 'with all her might' but she didn't). Sometimes, it would be a flick for each misdemeanor. At the very very end, she'd say that we were banned from the Idiot Box for 1 week. That was the WORST part of the punishment.

Thinking back on this, I can't figure out why were were SO STUPID to stand there, pull our ears and then stick our hands out. It would happen every so often and each time, we'd do it even though we knew what was coming.

Anyway, I did try smacking Aaron some time ago when nappy changes were a nightmare but that didn't go so well. It didn't help me get the nappies on any more easily and instead, he started slapping me whenever he didn't get things his way. (Now how come we didn't do that to my mother?) Thankfully, he's forgotten all about that.

These days I just use my voice and then tap Aaron on his hand or leg or whichever body part is the offender. He gets the idea. For now.

So, today, when Aaron was pulling down the photos that I had stuck up in his room, I said 'Don't do that'. He just turned around, pulled another one off and tapped his own hand! I know I'm not supposed to but how could I keep a straight face? He had such a cheeky grin on his face while doing it too.

Business Ideas, Business Loans

Lately, I've been trying to 'broaden my horizons' by not only browsing all the interesting, funny and relaxing blogs out there. So my time now is shared between the fun stuff (blogs), money matters (trading) and future opportunities. I worry about being complacent in life and getting stuck in a routine. I don't want any future potential opportunities to escape me because I didn't pay attention or have become too 'blunt' to grab it. I'm talking about the opportunities to do my own thing. Start a little business. Provide something for a niche market. Provide something for the mass market. I don't know....but I keep looking. Of course, I use the internet to get my brain ticking on this. You'd be amazed at some of the crazy ideas people have out there. The one stuck in my mind is the person who got himself a postal address in the North Pole so that he could sell Santa letters to parents for $10 each.

I also came across this website that helps people submit applications for business loans. Even THAT is a clever business idea. To provide other businesses an easy process and fast funding. Their website looks pretty user friendly and inviting too.

The Idiot Box is my friend

I love that term "Idiot Box". I've recently become a recovering TV addict but even during the days when my addiction was at its peak, I've always known that its stupid to spend so much time in front of a box. Well, these days, they aren't boxes anymore but sleek, flat screened entertainment panels!

Its going to be an uphill battle but I'll be trying my best to limit Aaron's exposure to the TV. Of course I don't cut it out entirely (I need sit-down time!). He has 30 mins on most days and I rotate between some 'educational' DVDs and some fun music ones like "The Wiggles".

I feel that since I am a stay-at-home mom, I don't want to get caught in a vicious cycle of having the TV babysit. HOWEVER, today, at 5.30pm, I really felt a bond with my Idiot Box.

Aaron's molars are about to cut through (read: irritable, whiny baby) and I've been woken up every hour all night long for the past few nights. Then today, we had a power outage from 9.30am to 4.30pm. Its HOT here! And after a short time at the mall to cool off, Aaron became too crabby and we HAD to come back to this heat so he could try to nap. Luckily he managed an hours rest but after that, we were back to entertaining a crabby toddler in an oven.

Anyway, by the time the power came back, I really needed a rest. What did I do? I turned to my friend, the Idiot Box. You can't imagine how good the Wiggles are at transforming Aaron into a super happy toddler that can't stop dancing and clapping his hands. Its crazy! It made me happy just watching him and we ended up having so much fun dancing around.

I can see how easy it could be to rely on the TV as a child grows older but its probably just as easy to have some interactive fun. Of course, it certainly would be tempting to sneak 30mins for myself as soon as Aaron is willing to spend time alone with my friend, The Idiot Box........but I'd better not go there.