Not A Next Top Model!

What is it with little boys and photographs? I remember my brother doing this for years and now Aaron is starting to do it more and more frequently. Why can't they take a proper photo? I don't mind the occasional funny face but not in ALL the photos.

Guys, did you all do this when you were kids?

I Wonder If Teething Is Like Itching

Recently, I had the radical thought that giving babies teething toys while they are teething just makes the situation worse.

I say this because I have bought a total of nine 'teething toys' for Adrian. Some have the fluid in them, some have no fluid but bumps around the place, others are just odd shapes of slightly rubbery material. Out of nine, there is probably only one that he gets excited about. The others all get one or two seconds of chewing and then are chucked. The favorite one seems to do something for his gums for awhile. He seems somewhat satisfied when he first starts chewing but after awhile, it ends up frustrating him and he very often ends up a grumpy baby after spending time with this teething toy.

It got me thinking of mosquito bites and itches in general. Scratching an itch satisfies it momentarily. But, you always need to scratch harder and longer to keep that satisfied feeling. And when you stop, the itch always seems itchier. So, maybe teething is similar. I have no idea what it feels like and I don't think any of the teething toy companies do either. All I know is that its some sort of discomfort and perhaps pain.

So, I've stopped giving him any of those toys whenever we go out (especially at mass where I thought that it was a way of keeping him quiet). He didn't seem to need them as there is plenty of visual distractions around. He also had less episodes of getting frustrated and throwing the toy, flinging his drool and arching his back.

I have tested my theory and gave him the favorite one day. There wasn't enough exciting visual distractions around for him to refuse it so he chomped down on it. And sure enough, he was satisfied for quite awhile but in the end, there was frustration, noise and grumpiness.

And that's all I have for you on this very long today. Bloggers block. I did have more thoughts on this earlier but as the day wore on, they all fell out of my head, one by one. *sigh*

* PRIVATE * Keep Out *

Up until 4 years ago, I never gave much thought to privacy. I'm referring to my own private time, space and thoughts. I took it for granted because it was so readily available. In fact, it was more often the case that I wished there was somebody else in my space.

Life now is very different. There are moments in every day that I wish I could sit in my own space somewhere, for a duration of time that I decide upon and just think quietly. I now have to fight for privacy. I understand that and accept it because I live with two little people that have absolutely no need or desire for anyone's privacy, including their own.

I wonder how we evolve into beings that seek privacy. Aaron and Adrian don't ever seem to need it so its not a need we're born with. Mike had an insightful post on dogs yesterday. Several of the points describe the behavior of young children and in a very high level and simplistic way, you can say that kids (and dogs) love people and life, without restraint. And maybe, its because they have such a passion for everything and everyone around them that they don't have a need for privacy and can't understand why the (worn out) grown ups do.

One of the most obvious of private spaces is a person's room. Adrian is still sleeping in a cot in our room because its easier for me throughout the night. However, I do have (distant) plans on moving him in with Aaron.

I like the idea of the two of them sharing a room and one day, I thought I'd test what Aaron's reaction might be. He surprised me. I thought he would be protective of his space, his toys and HIS things in general. But instead, he became very excited. When we talked about re-arranging his room to include another bed for Adrian, Aaron looked at me and said "What for? Can't he just sleep on my bed with me? I'll sleep on the outside so he won't fall off."

I'm sure that one day, probably not too long from now, he's going to not only want his own bed but his own room (and then his own house!). But isn't it refreshing to see such openness and a complete lack of the need for personal space? My brother and I shared a room until we were 8 and 10 even though we fought like crazy when we were kids. We also had plenty of good laughs of course. While the need for privacy isn't all that strong, I think its a good thing for siblings to be in each others faces and lives for a few short years. When they do grow to have that need for privacy, I'll respect it.

I Miss Palembang!

I can't believe it! It has been a year since we left Palembang and moved here to Brisbane.

For some reason, I had the date as 24 September in my head and was waiting for today to do a post on Palembang. It wasn't until I checked back to my post last September that I realized I was four days late!

Anyway, Palembang...

Aaron and I actually miss the place a lot and talk about it all the time. Aaron misses it a bit more than me though. He actually wants us to move back there. I don't think I would want to move there but I have been thinking about going back for a visit since the day we left!

Previously, AirAsia had extremely cheap daily flights from Kuala Lumpur. I always thought that I would hop on a plane and spend the weekend in Palembang whenever I happened to be in Malaysia. Unfortunately, and very puzzlingly, AirAsia has stopped that flight. It used to be a full flight, both ways! Needless to say, I was crushed when I heard that it going to be a lot more expensive and troublesome to get to there now.

For dinner tonight, I made our favorite food from Palembang, Perkedels, and we reminisced. I remember one particularly hot day, about three months into our stay there when I threw a huge and childish tantrum about how I hated the place. Who knew that I would grow to like it so much? Unless I tell myself to think of the things I didn't like about the place, I've completely forgotten about the heat, mosquitoes, blackouts, dirty water, dusty roads, hazy days, crowded shopping centers and Richard's five and a half day work weeks.

The easy memories are all good ones. Our two very helpful drivers and their huge smiles. Afternoons spent exploring the city on Angkots. Aaron having a very basic, yet rich toddlerhood there. Walking around the neighborhood in the mornings and evenings and chatting with all the neighbors. The Singaporean family we made friends with whom we spent many enjoyable weekends. (F, B & K, we miss you all!) Ooooh....and my weekly foot reflexology. So many good memories. Y'know, I even miss speaking in my broken Indonesian!

We tried to make an impact on the people's lives there but in the end, it was the people of Palembang that enriched our lives so greatly.

I miss Palembang! I need to go back for a visit some time!

Saying "Thank You" For Compliments

A long time ago, I read something about always complimenting a person genuinely. For example, if you meet someone and you genuinely think they're shoes look good, then tell them. This will (probably) please the person and in turn, you'll get some happy vibes. Anyway, its all for the feel good factor. However, don't pick just anything and compliment the person falsely.

So I do that. I like complimenting people and I am always genuine about it.

The problem is that I'm terrible at accepting compliments. I know that the proper response would be a simple 'Thank You' but somehow, I feel the need to go on. I'm pretty sure there are many people out there like this too. Its as if receiving the compliment would somehow mean that you were a proud or boastful person.

For example....

... When we went for a trial Chinese class for Aaron, another parent remarked that Aaron was very well behaved and was concentrating very well. Immediately, I said that he was cheeky and it was only because the environment was unfamiliar that he was sitting and behaving.

... A lady passed me on the escalators and said that the sling I was carrying Adrian in was very pretty. I said "Thank you, its something simple for doing the shopping. Keeps my hands free." She was lucky her escalator was moving in the opposite direction and I couldn't continue any more.

... Old ladies often come up to say hello to Adrian and tell me what a beautiful baby he is. I have been known to point out that he's got drool all down his chin and snot around his nose. Why do I do that???

I always immediately kick myself and think 'Next time, "Thank You"'. Its hard. I wonder if it is to do with my upbringing. If so, I might be damning Aaron to the same fate. He has been (innocently) going around saying that he's clever. My fault for saying 'Clever Boy' over the past four years. And now, I'm probably confusing him because I have been telling him that he mustn't think of himself that way and he definitely must not be telling other people how smart he is. It is up to other people to decide if he's clever or not.

Yet, thats not quite right either because we all need some sort of self worth/confidence. How do you explain it to a four year old? If you feel you're clever, you can think it, but you can't say it. So maybe, it is here that the way we accept compliments gets screwed up. If you can't say you're clever, maybe you shouldn't admit to being clever even if somebody else says you are. Confusing!

Keep things simple. If somebody says something nice to you, just say "Thank You".

Modern Cloth Nappies

Look at the time! I've been so distracted looking at Modern Cloth Nappies that I haven't even done my blogging rounds yet. We're running low on the disposable kind and right now, I can't seem to find them on sale anywhere. The last time I bought some, they worked out to be $0.34 each but today, they're all up around the $0.42 mark. $0.08 doesn't sound like a lot but when you know you can get something cheaper, you want to get it cheaper.

We actually use cloth nappies during the day time and disposable ones at night and when we go out. I have a stack of Old Fashioned (now called pre-fold) cloth nappies from Aaron and just naturally used them for Adrian. I know many of my regular readers are men so, for your information, Modern Cloth Nappies are cloth ones that have been sewn up with snap ons or velcro and you put them on just like disposable nappies. They have elasticized legs as well to keep things contained. And of course, they come in lots of funky colors.

So, if we count just replacing all the night time use with a cloth nappy, I would save anywhere between $124 and $211 a year. Doesn't sound like a lot does it? The Modern Cloth Nappy is going to cost me something like $30 each and I think I'll need at least two. I might end up saving roughly $300 from now until Adrian is toilet trained. It may not save all that much in the big scheme of things but there would also be the other benefit of saving the environment. Did you know that they take up to 500 years to decompose?!

So, my final verdict on Modern Cloth Nappies is that we'll give it a go.

This might be more than you need to know about nappies but let me tell you, after 'sleep', 'nappies' are the number two thought in my head when it comes to the things I need to do for the baby. 'Food' is only number three. Look at that order of things: Rest, Output and then Input.

Snail Mail

When we lived in Palembang, we hardly got any snail mail. In fact, I can probably count the number of times we received anything right here: Once from a friend in Shanghai, once from a friend in Malaysia and (I think) twice from Bilbo. That was during the entire two and a half years we lived there!

Ever since we moved to Brisbane, Aaron has become the mail boy. Every morning and afternoon, he excitedly makes the trip to the mailbox to see if there is anything there. There usually is, which excites him even more because he hopes there is something for him.

I felt sorry for him and foolishly, placed a CD with a pretend letter from Jurassic Joe in the mailbox for him one day. That made him think that he would automatically receive mail, if not all the time, then at least sometimes. Anyway, I've corrected that and he now understands that apart from things like bills and junk mail, he'll need to send his friends a letter and then hope that they'll write back.

Well, we've started our letter writing adventures. By 'started', I mean that we wrote and posted two letters last Friday. And of course, he checked the mailbox on Saturday AND Sunday hoping that he would get a reply! I just hope that he'll get at least one reply from one of his friends some day soon. What if they don't write back??

I had thought of teaching him about email but the instant gratification of it would have killed off any desire to send snail mail so, I've left that for another day (or year).

The other thing I wonder about is if boys are big on letter writing in the first place. I know that from the time I was eight years old, I exchanged letters with my girl friends almost every other week. This continued until I was about seventeen or eighteen and we all discovered emails and IRC. As I was saying, the letters were mostly with girls. The only mail I received from the guys were from those who sent the soppy Valentine's Day type of letter. Not exactly what I'm hoping for Aaron right now.

Anyhow, we'll see how things go. I just had a new idea to give him a better idea of how the postal system works. We'll send a letter to ourselves tomorrow!