It turns out that yesterday was a pretty lucky day after all. We had patches of blue skies in the morning and the smelly haze seemed to have only been working at 30% for the whole day. I was really grateful for the break and had a happy day.
Actually, living in Palembang for the past two and a half years has taught me to become much simpler in my wants. Just take a look at the 13 things I'm looking forward to in Brisbane ...
1. Obviously first and foremost, I want a breath of fresh air.
2. Using water from the tap to brush teeth. We're now using bottled water.
3. Using water from the tap to cook. Once again, bottled water.
4. Drinking water out of the tap. Yup, bottled water. Obviously we buy the HUGE 19L bottles.
5. Opening my mouth and eyes in the shower without being too worried.
6. Being able to walk outside in the evenings and not get attacked by a zillion mosquitoes.
7. Being able to drive myself out and about in sane traffic.
8. Being within walking distance of shops, the river and the city.
9. Going for storytime at the libraries.
10. Going for picnics and enjoying the parks.
11. Watching Aaron play in the backyard where there is grass.
12. Sleeping with the windows opened instead of the A/C on.
13. Laughing loudly with my family.
After several hours without electricity, I'm adding another one...
14. No Power Outages!!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Haze : Candle in the Wind
Yesterday was a miserable day. Not only was in hazy all day long, we also had a blackout in the afternoon!. This morning is a little less smelly but I still have that lingering headache and we all keep sneezing.
So, 09/09/09. Mike left a special comment on my last post because I get to the day first. I'm early enough today to schedule this to post at 9.09am so, why not? 9 is a lucky number in Chinese and we definitely need some luck over here....luck that we get rain or the winds blow in a different direction.
I found this on Chao Mugger. It was written for Singapore but is just as applicable here.
Haze : Candle in the Wind.
Goodbye clear blue sky
Though we never see you anymore
We hope you've not forgotten
to come back to Singapore
The fires won't stop burning
And no matter how hard we try
It seems we're edging closer
towards one thousand PSI
And it seems to me you lived your life
like a candle in the wind
Never staying a moment longer
when the haze set in
And your memory will always haunt us
when the CD sirens wail
Your candles burned out long before
our lungs completely fail ....
So, 09/09/09. Mike left a special comment on my last post because I get to the day first. I'm early enough today to schedule this to post at 9.09am so, why not? 9 is a lucky number in Chinese and we definitely need some luck over here....luck that we get rain or the winds blow in a different direction.
I found this on Chao Mugger. It was written for Singapore but is just as applicable here.
Haze : Candle in the Wind.
Goodbye clear blue sky
Though we never see you anymore
We hope you've not forgotten
to come back to Singapore
The fires won't stop burning
And no matter how hard we try
It seems we're edging closer
towards one thousand PSI
And it seems to me you lived your life
like a candle in the wind
Never staying a moment longer
when the haze set in
And your memory will always haunt us
when the CD sirens wail
Your candles burned out long before
our lungs completely fail ....
Monday, September 7, 2009
Hazy Time Of The Year
We've escaped the haze for the past two years but this year, its caught us. We experienced the Indonesian haze when we lived in Malaysia and I definitely didn't want to experience it here. This is a yearly 'event' during the dry season where farmers burn forests to clear land for agriculture. It causes massive blankets of dust/ash/smog to spread across Sumatra and fly over to Malaysia and Singapore as well. In recent years, Malaysians have blamed the Indonesians but I've also read that many of the fires are started by Malaysian companies in Indonesia. Whoever it is, they certainly make life miserable for everyone on both sides of the straits.
In 2007, I planned to be in Brisbane from the start of August (the supposed start of dry season). And in 2008, I left at the end of August and didn't need to breath in any of this rubbish. What happened this year? We definitely put thought into our trip but I wanted to travel together with Richard instead of going ahead alone first. So, we're booked to leave in just under two weeks.
A couple of weeks ago, we started waking up to a smoky stink in the house and a layer of dust on the floor. The days seemed much clearer. It wasn't pleasant but it was bearable.
And then yesterday, we woke up to this:
We were out because we were heading to church and then after wards, we couldn't go home because our house was too polluted. We headed to a hotel for breakfast and then to a mall.
I was prepared for a terrible night last night but when we woke up, the skies were more or less clear. And then, after lunch, the winds must have changed direction because we were covered in a horrible, smelly blanket of haze. It makes me feel as if I'm in a room full of smokers. And what makes this worse is that people in the neighborhood will join in and burn their own rubbish, adding to haze in our area! These are people who still smoke around babies so what can I expect?
I'm seriously considering changing our departure date but .... its complicated.
In 2007, I planned to be in Brisbane from the start of August (the supposed start of dry season). And in 2008, I left at the end of August and didn't need to breath in any of this rubbish. What happened this year? We definitely put thought into our trip but I wanted to travel together with Richard instead of going ahead alone first. So, we're booked to leave in just under two weeks.
A couple of weeks ago, we started waking up to a smoky stink in the house and a layer of dust on the floor. The days seemed much clearer. It wasn't pleasant but it was bearable.
And then yesterday, we woke up to this:
We were out because we were heading to church and then after wards, we couldn't go home because our house was too polluted. We headed to a hotel for breakfast and then to a mall.
I was prepared for a terrible night last night but when we woke up, the skies were more or less clear. And then, after lunch, the winds must have changed direction because we were covered in a horrible, smelly blanket of haze. It makes me feel as if I'm in a room full of smokers. And what makes this worse is that people in the neighborhood will join in and burn their own rubbish, adding to haze in our area! These are people who still smoke around babies so what can I expect?
I'm seriously considering changing our departure date but .... its complicated.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Do I Get MCs?
MC stands for Medical Certificate. In Malaysia, if you need to take a sick day from work, you call it an MC. It stems from the need to show your boss the medical certificate if you say you're out sick.
I don't know why I never thought about it before but I started wondering about my MC entitlement today. What if I need to call in sick? Hold on, I'm in charge (supposedly) so who do I call? Maybe the second in charge? But then, he'd have to go get himself an MC to cover for my "absence" at home.
I needed to go read the terms and conditions of this job so I dug up an old email about motherhood. Its been around awhile but is still fun to read:
POSITION : Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
I don't know why I never thought about it before but I started wondering about my MC entitlement today. What if I need to call in sick? Hold on, I'm in charge (supposedly) so who do I call? Maybe the second in charge? But then, he'd have to go get himself an MC to cover for my "absence" at home.
I needed to go read the terms and conditions of this job so I dug up an old email about motherhood. Its been around awhile but is still fun to read:
POSITION : Mother, Mom, Mama, Mommy, Momma, Ma
JOB DESCRIPTION: Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES: The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE : None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION: Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS: While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Pink For Boys, Blue For Girls?
Its easy to find the girl's section for children's clothing. SEA OF PINK! We all know that...
Little boys wear some of the other colors but mainly blue. And have you noticed that the younger the clothes, the more clearly they are designated into their boys blue and girls pink categories?
So far, I haven't consciously avoided pink for Aaron. They just don't make boy clothes in that color. It hasn't stopped me from putting him in pink socks. And when we're doing our coloring/drawing, the only color I use less of is brown because I just really don't like it.
Aaron doesn't have a favorite color but there have been several occasions that he has selected a pink item, just as he has selected blue, yellow and green items. Yesterday, I was picking out some grey hairclips for my mother and he insisted on getting a couple of pink ones for himself.
Grown men wear pink and I think many of them look good in it. So, I really don't see why little boys should be taught that pink is the color for girls. The only reason I wouldn't encourage it would be that he might get teased in school if he did end up showing a preference for the color. I'll deal with that when the time comes.
So have you ever wondered why the colors were matched to the genders this way?
The origins seem a little conflicted but here's what I got from the Color Matters website...
According to Jean Heifetz, for centuries, all European children were dressed in blue because the color was associated with the Virgin Mary. The use of pink and blue emerged at the turn of the century, the rule being pink for boys, blue for girls. Since pink was a stronger color it was best suited for boys; blue was more delicate and dainty and best for girls. And in 1921, the Women's Institute for Domestic Science in Pennsylvania endorsed pink for boys, blue for girls. (When Blue Meant Yellow. pp. 20 -21)
On the other hand, the idea of associating blue with male babies may stem back to ancient times when having a boy was good luck. Blue, the color of the sky where gods and fates lived, held powers to ward off evil, so baby boys where dressed in blue. In Greece a blue eye is still thought to have powers to ward off evil. The idea of pink for girls might come from the European legend that baby girls were born inside delicate pink roses.
Another theory states that the sexual origins can be found in ancient China. At a time when certain dyes were quite rare, pink dye was readily available and therefore inexpensive. Since blues were rare and expensive, it was therefore considered to be more worthwhile to dress your son in blue, because when he married the family would receive a dowry.
Interesting!
In 2007, there was some research published that the color preferences had a biological origin. Supposedly everybody prefers the color blue, but females prefer redder shades of blue. Here's the TIME magazine article on it.
I think I might go buy some matching pink shirts for Richard and Aaron....
Little boys wear some of the other colors but mainly blue. And have you noticed that the younger the clothes, the more clearly they are designated into their boys blue and girls pink categories?
So far, I haven't consciously avoided pink for Aaron. They just don't make boy clothes in that color. It hasn't stopped me from putting him in pink socks. And when we're doing our coloring/drawing, the only color I use less of is brown because I just really don't like it.
Aaron doesn't have a favorite color but there have been several occasions that he has selected a pink item, just as he has selected blue, yellow and green items. Yesterday, I was picking out some grey hairclips for my mother and he insisted on getting a couple of pink ones for himself.
Grown men wear pink and I think many of them look good in it. So, I really don't see why little boys should be taught that pink is the color for girls. The only reason I wouldn't encourage it would be that he might get teased in school if he did end up showing a preference for the color. I'll deal with that when the time comes.
So have you ever wondered why the colors were matched to the genders this way?
The origins seem a little conflicted but here's what I got from the Color Matters website...
According to Jean Heifetz, for centuries, all European children were dressed in blue because the color was associated with the Virgin Mary. The use of pink and blue emerged at the turn of the century, the rule being pink for boys, blue for girls. Since pink was a stronger color it was best suited for boys; blue was more delicate and dainty and best for girls. And in 1921, the Women's Institute for Domestic Science in Pennsylvania endorsed pink for boys, blue for girls. (When Blue Meant Yellow. pp. 20 -21)
On the other hand, the idea of associating blue with male babies may stem back to ancient times when having a boy was good luck. Blue, the color of the sky where gods and fates lived, held powers to ward off evil, so baby boys where dressed in blue. In Greece a blue eye is still thought to have powers to ward off evil. The idea of pink for girls might come from the European legend that baby girls were born inside delicate pink roses.
Another theory states that the sexual origins can be found in ancient China. At a time when certain dyes were quite rare, pink dye was readily available and therefore inexpensive. Since blues were rare and expensive, it was therefore considered to be more worthwhile to dress your son in blue, because when he married the family would receive a dowry.
Interesting!
In 2007, there was some research published that the color preferences had a biological origin. Supposedly everybody prefers the color blue, but females prefer redder shades of blue. Here's the TIME magazine article on it.
I think I might go buy some matching pink shirts for Richard and Aaron....
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
My 2 Biggest Issues With A Newborn
WOW! So many of my friends are expecting babies soon. Another one of them, this time a guy, shared the good news with me yesterday. He was funny! "What should I prepare for? What do I need to get ready? I haven't done anything yet." He suggested I should have an entire post on the subject as he reads my blog every day and needs pointers now.
Perhaps in a very general sense, parents-to-be need to discuss the type of parenting style they think they'd like to adopt. Thats a very broad term so I'm going to focus on the two areas which were the biggest issues with us - Breastfeeding and Sleep.
Most people know that exclusive breastfeeding is what's recommended for the the first six months of a baby's life. The WHO also recommends extended breastfeeding for the first two years. I think the majority of people have the intention of breastfeeding but only a minority realize that it can be quite hard (and painful, and frustrating). If I knew how hard it would be, I wouldn't have focused all my reading on labor and delivery. Kellymom is a great site to get some background knowledge, find out about potential problems and also refer to when you have problems. I wish I studied that site before stumbling and crying through the first month of nursing.
Off the top of my head, I would tell the new parents (both mom and dad) hoping to establish a successful nursing relationship to :
1) Nurse as soon as possible after delivery.
2) Understand that it will be colostrum for the first few days before your milk comes in. Colostrum is liquid gold in terms of nutrition for your newborn. There is "stuff" coming out even if you can't see it happening. Trust yourself.
3) Do not let your baby be bottle fed for at least 6 weeks. Babies also need to learn how to nurse so it is important that they become experts at this before being introduced to the much easier way of drinking from a bottle.
4) Nurse on demand. There is no sense in trying to schedule breastfeeds. Breastmilk is also much more easily digestible than formula so breastfed babies may need more feeds than a formula fed one. Don't question it or count the number of times, just nurse.
5) Have the number of a lactation consultant ready so you can run over there at the first sign of trouble. Also, bring some breastfeeding cream along to the hospital and use it from the start. Thats what I'm telling myself anyway.....I don't ever want to see cracked and bleeding nipples again. Prevention is definitely better than the cure here.
The other problem we had was sleep, or lack of. Everybody expects this but I found it to be something that differed greatly between babies. Just comparing notes with some of my friends, I found that many other babies were sleeping through the night at 3 or 4 months. Aaron didn't for nearly 2 years. Also, some babies slept for stretches of 2, 3 or 4 hours within a couple of weeks. We were still on the 2 hourly wake up calls for the entire first year I think. My point here is that there were huge differences but all are normal.
So whats my point here? Have zero expectations. Thats how I'm going to approach baby No. 2. I found that once I accepted Aaron's sleep habits, things just seemed a whole lot easier. I didn't feel that I had a dud baby, or that I was a weak mom for not training him better. He was just who he was and I could adapt to it.
My final piece of advice is that I believe baby-led breastfeeding is the key to a good night's sleep for all. At the start, I worried that I was creating a bad habit when Aaron used to want to feed to sleep. I fought it for as long as I could but gave in. Can you imagine how much easier it is to just feed a baby to sleep rather than rocking, walking or doing some other funny dance till it dozes off? I'm hoping that this next baby will figure our feeding to sleep as soon as possible. Also, once the baby is able to feed with the mom laying down, use that position. Baby wakes up at night, just roll over, feed while you snooze. Once the baby has had enough it will fall asleep and fall off the breast. EASY! No more getting out of bed, setting up for a feed and then walking the floors to put the baby to sleep afterwards.
So, seeing that my friend is a guy but he'd have to be actively involved in both these aspects of a new baby, I think he needs to talk to his wife about what her thoughts are. You'll notice the bulk of the work is on her. Having said that, his supporting role is crucial in the success of both.
That was two cents. With only 3 years of experience mothering, I'm far from the expert but these two points are foremost in my mind as I prepare for the next baby.
Perhaps in a very general sense, parents-to-be need to discuss the type of parenting style they think they'd like to adopt. Thats a very broad term so I'm going to focus on the two areas which were the biggest issues with us - Breastfeeding and Sleep.
Most people know that exclusive breastfeeding is what's recommended for the the first six months of a baby's life. The WHO also recommends extended breastfeeding for the first two years. I think the majority of people have the intention of breastfeeding but only a minority realize that it can be quite hard (and painful, and frustrating). If I knew how hard it would be, I wouldn't have focused all my reading on labor and delivery. Kellymom is a great site to get some background knowledge, find out about potential problems and also refer to when you have problems. I wish I studied that site before stumbling and crying through the first month of nursing.
Off the top of my head, I would tell the new parents (both mom and dad) hoping to establish a successful nursing relationship to :
1) Nurse as soon as possible after delivery.
2) Understand that it will be colostrum for the first few days before your milk comes in. Colostrum is liquid gold in terms of nutrition for your newborn. There is "stuff" coming out even if you can't see it happening. Trust yourself.
3) Do not let your baby be bottle fed for at least 6 weeks. Babies also need to learn how to nurse so it is important that they become experts at this before being introduced to the much easier way of drinking from a bottle.
4) Nurse on demand. There is no sense in trying to schedule breastfeeds. Breastmilk is also much more easily digestible than formula so breastfed babies may need more feeds than a formula fed one. Don't question it or count the number of times, just nurse.
5) Have the number of a lactation consultant ready so you can run over there at the first sign of trouble. Also, bring some breastfeeding cream along to the hospital and use it from the start. Thats what I'm telling myself anyway.....I don't ever want to see cracked and bleeding nipples again. Prevention is definitely better than the cure here.
The other problem we had was sleep, or lack of. Everybody expects this but I found it to be something that differed greatly between babies. Just comparing notes with some of my friends, I found that many other babies were sleeping through the night at 3 or 4 months. Aaron didn't for nearly 2 years. Also, some babies slept for stretches of 2, 3 or 4 hours within a couple of weeks. We were still on the 2 hourly wake up calls for the entire first year I think. My point here is that there were huge differences but all are normal.
So whats my point here? Have zero expectations. Thats how I'm going to approach baby No. 2. I found that once I accepted Aaron's sleep habits, things just seemed a whole lot easier. I didn't feel that I had a dud baby, or that I was a weak mom for not training him better. He was just who he was and I could adapt to it.
My final piece of advice is that I believe baby-led breastfeeding is the key to a good night's sleep for all. At the start, I worried that I was creating a bad habit when Aaron used to want to feed to sleep. I fought it for as long as I could but gave in. Can you imagine how much easier it is to just feed a baby to sleep rather than rocking, walking or doing some other funny dance till it dozes off? I'm hoping that this next baby will figure our feeding to sleep as soon as possible. Also, once the baby is able to feed with the mom laying down, use that position. Baby wakes up at night, just roll over, feed while you snooze. Once the baby has had enough it will fall asleep and fall off the breast. EASY! No more getting out of bed, setting up for a feed and then walking the floors to put the baby to sleep afterwards.
So, seeing that my friend is a guy but he'd have to be actively involved in both these aspects of a new baby, I think he needs to talk to his wife about what her thoughts are. You'll notice the bulk of the work is on her. Having said that, his supporting role is crucial in the success of both.
That was two cents. With only 3 years of experience mothering, I'm far from the expert but these two points are foremost in my mind as I prepare for the next baby.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Self Imposed House Arrest - DONE!
I'm free at last!
Over the past few weeks, I've stayed at home almost every day. The only time I venture out is on the weekends when Richard will be on hand to help with Aaron if needed.
The morning sickness faded about a month ago but I still found driving around in the car horrible. The roads here are terribly bumpy and the traffic is stop start for most of the way anywhere. I'm not a person who gets motion sickness but any trips in the car left me feeling a little green. Its probably also got to do with the fact that the ventilation in this car seems to let a lot of the outside fumes in!
Well, my days of self imposed house arrest are over! Car rides still make me a little bit uneasy but nothing I can't recover from after 5 minutes.
The motivating factor that got me out today are two new pairs of shorts. In a toss up between a new pair of maternity pants and TWO pairs of "normal" shorts that cost the same, I picked the shorts. But I needed to make an accessory - a bit of elastic with a button on the end.
So off I went to the haberdashery in the Perumnas market. Where else would I go? Its become my favorite go-to place for almost anything.
Just look at the range in this place. It was my first time there because I rarely do any sort of sewing here in Palembang.
\
My elastic extension cost me approximately USD 0.05 and it saved me from buying a pair of pants that I will no longer be able to wear in February. Instead, I'll have two extra pairs of shorts!
Over the past few weeks, I've stayed at home almost every day. The only time I venture out is on the weekends when Richard will be on hand to help with Aaron if needed.
The morning sickness faded about a month ago but I still found driving around in the car horrible. The roads here are terribly bumpy and the traffic is stop start for most of the way anywhere. I'm not a person who gets motion sickness but any trips in the car left me feeling a little green. Its probably also got to do with the fact that the ventilation in this car seems to let a lot of the outside fumes in!
Well, my days of self imposed house arrest are over! Car rides still make me a little bit uneasy but nothing I can't recover from after 5 minutes.
The motivating factor that got me out today are two new pairs of shorts. In a toss up between a new pair of maternity pants and TWO pairs of "normal" shorts that cost the same, I picked the shorts. But I needed to make an accessory - a bit of elastic with a button on the end.
So off I went to the haberdashery in the Perumnas market. Where else would I go? Its become my favorite go-to place for almost anything.
Just look at the range in this place. It was my first time there because I rarely do any sort of sewing here in Palembang.
\
My elastic extension cost me approximately USD 0.05 and it saved me from buying a pair of pants that I will no longer be able to wear in February. Instead, I'll have two extra pairs of shorts!
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