Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Thought Progression

Its Australia Day today. Many people are probably having a barbecue or hanging out with friends somewhere but we spent the afternoon at the local shopping center instead.

The past few days have been quite hot so we've been spending time in air conditioned places like the malls, libraries, art galleries and museums. Today, I spent the afternoon just sitting around one of the local malls.

I had a book with me but I ended up doing a lot of people watching and reflecting on my life. Being a mother this second time around has been completely different.

With Aaron, I hardly left the house for nearly three months. There were several reasons for this. We lived in Klang and there was really nowhere to go to. Aaron almost never slept, day or night. I didn't have time for showers let alone the internet. It took a long time for all the healing from labor to get done. I really didn't enjoy those early days at all and felt miserable in my cocoon of dealing with baby 24hours a day with no distractions.

This time round, I am really able to enjoy the baby. Sure, he has his sleep the wrong way and tends to be up at night time but its not so bad. I'm also a much more relaxed mother and have no expectations of keeping to schedules or fears of spoiling the baby. I have experience :) In fact, I'm loving being a mother of two!

Anyway, today, I found myself thinking "If only I started having babies when I was younger. I think I might like to have more than two". Its a strange thought for me to have because up until I was 30 years old, I insisted that I never wanted to have any children. And then after Aaron, there was a time where he was the confirmation that I wouldn't want to deal with any more than one child. But now, its probably too late for me, I've been telling myself (since I was 30 years old) that I wouldn't have any children after 35.

Oh well, you never know what the future holds. In 10 years or so, when I have teenagers, I might start wishing that I had stuck with my pre-30s thinking.

1 comment:

Kaylen said...

I had my son just before my 19th bday. It was not the best timing of course, but at that time in life, I really was excited to be a wife and mother. Three years later I stopped being a wife and just focused on being a mother. And while my son was young, I really thought I would have to have another baby some day-it just seemed right...but that passed without the opportunity to have another one.
And now my son is going to be 18 this year - and I'm less than 40!! And nothing sounds more wonderful than this. I've raised a wonderful son and I will get to start a whole new life soon.
I missed out on some things when I was in my 20's, but I am going to make up for it in my 40's!!! :)