Photostory Friday - Where Is The Rewind Button?

I couldn't believe the amount of work Aaron brought into my life when he was born. At that time, I was looking for the Fast Forward button.

Now, I want the Rewind button. There are so many moments that I'd love to revisit. Instead, I get similar situations with a significantly different Aaron in the picture to remind me not to waste the moments I have with him now.

This was taken almost exactly two years ago in February 2007. I occasionally fed him snacks by the pond.





Most mornings now, Aaron tries to clean the fish pond. AND, he even tells me to go inside and not watch him "work".

No Arms? No Problem!

I don't usually post videos (thats Mike's job) but this one doesn't seem to fit in with his usual categories.

My mother emailed it to me with the usual "see how lucky you are" message she has been trying to impart to us from childhood.

Its narrated in Cantonese and quite long but you don't have to understand or watch all of it to see just how amazing this woman is. Somewhere in the middle, she tells the interviewer that she was born without arms. I think her mother wanted to throw her away but her father saved her.

Drama Drama Drama

Yesterday was an example of unexpected things happening and me not having enough time to write my post. And since it was only Tuesday, I hadn't gotten around to writing my spare post yet. Anyway....

We know an 18 year old girl here. She is working and studying part time to complete high school.

A couple of weeks ago, she is summoned home because some people wanted to meet her. Those people were the parents of a boy that her father has arranged for her to marry. Of course, she doesn't want to do this. She already has a boyfriend. And she has been discussing with me the courses that she could take after she graduates high school. She wants a different life to that of all the other women in her village.

You've probably guessed that her father is of the opinion that women don't need an education, they only need a husband. Why do they need to know so much when they will be taken care of at home? She just needs to keep house, have kids and serve her man.

Yesterday, her dad rang again to lay down more guilt on her.
"How can she be such an ungrateful child?"
"How can she embarrass him this way?"
"Don't ever come home again if you don't marry this guy."
You get the picture.

So yesterday, I spent all my time discussing alternatives with her. I really wanted to help her but didn't want to step over the boundary and become an interference in her family's affairs.

Guess what happens today?

Her boyfriend takes the plunge and goes to her father to announce that he wants to marry her. She is then called home.

It turns out that her father was so far in discussions with the other family that a date had already been set - March 15. He absolutely would not back down from having a wedding on that day. He initially wouldn't accept the boyfriend but in the end, reluctantly agreed to it as long as the wedding date was kept. Supposedly, he had already told everybody about it and he would lose face if it didn't happen. Oh yeah, he also said that he will not be providing any monetary or organizational assistance for the wedding. Just wants to show up on the 15th and see that she is properly married. Imagine that!

The girl is relieved that she doesn't have to marry somebody she doesn't like but at the same time, she knows that getting married to this other guy is not really the solution.

Just thinking of the type of father she has is so infuriating. Initially, I tried to believe that he had her best interests in mind (in line with his own ancient beliefs). He found her a decent husband that will give her a comfortable life. But now, it really appears that he just doesn't want to lose face with his friends by saying that his daughter isn't getting married after all. Part of the ceremony for the formal proposal will include the boyfriend giving some money to the father so, it also sounds like he just needs some cash!

The Other Side Of The Wall

Remember Linmas? He and his mother, Ibu Tika, dropped by our house a couple of weeks ago. I finally found out where they lived and today, we dropped in on them.

Our housing area has a wall around its perimeter with several entrances. Linmas' family lives in the area immediately outside the south (i think) wall. It took us 5 minutes to walk there.

Once outside the wall, the roads are more like muddy lanes. And, the houses are immediately about one fifth the size of the houses around here. We saw chickens, geese, and ducks. Some houses were put together with bits of scrap wood and zinc. Others were made of brinks but not painted. There were people everywhere, chatting and laughing. Children playing with marbles or just running around. It was a very different scene to where we live.

Anyway, we found Linmas's house easily. His mother seemed a little shocked and embarrassed to see us. She kept saying her house was dirty and small. It was actually larger than I thought it would be but the condition inside was worse. There were holes in the zinc roof and the walls were partitioned by plywood.

I was really hoping that she would feel comfortable with me there. Aaron helped me with that. As soon as he saw Linmas, they started running around. They don't have chairs and laid down a mat in front of a small TV. There was a grubby looking pillow there but Aaron dove into it and buried his face in it. Instinctively, I felt myself tense up at that but I just let go. Linmas and him were soon wrestling around with it.

Linmas did not have a single toy. Seriously. Zero. They just played hide and seek. And then after awhile, Linmas took Aaron outside to visit some of his friends. It was a safe area with absolutely no cars. The kids just walk about freely. They all played with some marbles after awhile. The older boys were very tolerant of Aaron ruining their game.

I sat down on the floor to chat with Ibu Tika and she seemed more comfortable after awhile. I hope that in the end, she realized that I didn't mind the way her house was at all.

Here is some irony for you. When Linmas comes to our house, they play with Aaron's modest supply of toys. Its not a lot but I believe its more than enough for Aaron.

Anyway, when Ibu Tika says its time to go, Linmas obediently drops everything and leaves. Instantly.

Today, when I said it was time to leave. Nothing happened. I even tried bribing with promises of watching a Thomas DVD at home. Nothing worked. Aaron was having such a good time.

I did finally manage to drag him away without causing too much embarrassment to myself. We're definitely dropping in on them again. Its lovely living on this side of the wall but it looks to me that Aaron is going to have a lot more fun on the other side!

Door-to-Door Eggs

You can buy almost anything from your door step here. The vendors load carts with their wares and push it around the neighborhood, yelling out whatever it is they are selling.

The few regulars in our area are : Vegetables, seafood, brooms, plants, earth, flowerpots, eggs, snacks, full meals. I think thats about it.

Apart from eggs, I only occasionally buy from these door-to-door vendors. It is always pricier and not as fresh. As for the snacks and meals.....its just too scary to think of the bacteria festering there.

Eggs are the exception because it is harder to buy fresh free range eggs from the markets. So, I have a regular lady that stops by the house once or twice a week.

The problem with her is that she doesn't have a regular schedule and sometimes, we run out of eggs and I go out and just buy the normal type. Inevitably, she'll show up the next day (or later the same day). She's a very wrinkled old lady that hobbles up to the house with bowed legs. I always end up buying some from her just to lighten her load.

So the story today is that we went to mass in the morning and afterwards, there happened to be a boy selling eggs outside. I got two packs, each with 10 eggs. Within 30 mins of arriving home, the wrinkly old lady arrives with two buckets of eggs. I bought 10 from her for USD 0.85 and now, I have 30 eggs in my fridge. They're only about half the size of normal eggs so its not as much as it sounds, but still....

Photostory Friday - When Dad Is In Charge

I'm always grateful when its Richard's turn to watch Aaron. I get a chance to do things uninterrupted. Its great!

Saying "Richard's turn" makes it sound like watching Aaron is a chore. Its definitely hard work but its not a chore. Anyway, Richard sees so little of Aaron during the week that he is more than willing to spend the whole Saturday afternoon and Sunday playing the hands on dad.

But look what happens when I don't pay attention to what the two of them get up to. I hope that paint is what it claims to be - NON toxic.




Hosted by Cecily and MamaGeek

Thursday Thirteen - Blogging

I'll be the first to admit that blogging (reading and writing) takes up more than its allocated time each day. Its just sucks me in. But I love it.

13 Facts About My Blogging

1) I usually work on my blog around 5pm. Thats when I let Aaron have 30 mins or so of The Wiggles.

2) Aaron pulls his chair right up next to me and watches from there.

2) My plan each day is to write the post for that day and the next day, just in case something comes up the next day and I don't have enough time. I only succeed in doing this about once a week.

3) Most days, I'm chatting with my friend in Shanghai as I blog.

4) I read other people's blogs either early in the morning or after Aaron is asleep.

5) When I first started blogging, I was desperate to increase my readership and would skim as many blogs as I could, leaving half hearted comments on each one. Now, I only occasionally search out new blogs. I want to be able to read the blogs that I already follow slowly and leave decent comments (most of the time).

6) I also joined all sorts of blog rings in the beginning but I took all those links out last weekend.

7) My SIL introduced me to the world of blogging by telling me about the money she was earning from PayPerPost. Unfortunately, to get the 'good ads' you needed to have a decent Google PR, hence the blog skimming and blog ring memberships. I soon felt that it was like betraying myself and my readers to blog about things that I have no interest in.

8) I purposely make sure there is diversity in the blogs I visit. I like mom blogs because I identify with so many of the topics. And, its easy to just go from one to another because they are very often funny (and cute), but, I don't want that to be the only topics I read about.

9) In real life, I'd be too embarrassed to share, in person, anything that I've written. I do it almost every day here and then get embarrassed later on when I meet a reader in person and they bring up a past post.

10) Richard has a blog too. I asked him to start it as a way of practicing putting his thoughts down in a logical way.

11) I also told Richard that we should keep our blogs separate and not leave any trails to each others blogs.

12) I'm starting to grow a blogging conscience. There is an incredibly funny sex related topic I have but I just can't bring myself to spell it out. Its too gossipy since its about somebody here.

13) I am incredibly grateful for all the regular readers that I have and the virtual friendships that have come out of blogging.