Drama Week

We've had a bit of drama go through this household in the past week. It has been stressful, hectic and plain confusing at times. In a nutshell, the fillings that Aaron got in February did not get rid of all the decay and has this week culminated in visits to three separate dentists and a final verdict that he will need to have one tooth extracted and a pulpotomy (baby root canal) done on another two. Let me repeat that : One tooth pulled out and two root canals !!! Oh, and there was a missed cavity that now needs to be filled. I got all this when I took him to a paediatric dentist (aka, super expensive dentist) for another opinion. The original place told us to give him panadol and wait and see. We found out this week that Aaron actually has an abscessed tooth with inflamed gums, pus and the lot. Panadol was not going to cut it!

Can you imagine my devastation when told that my six year old has to lose a tooth? It may sound like no big deal and compared with all the seriously ill children in the world, this is nothing. However, to me, it was a blow. Like this Batman styled one :

I felt devastated because that tooth was under my care. I am supposed to care for every part of Aaron - look after him, nurture him, make sure he stays healthy and definitely make sure that he does not lose a tooth to decay (or have two others half rotted away). I can always blame the sugary pain numbing solutions that he needed for his ulcers last year but then, I should have thought to take extra precautions for his teeth.

Along with the devastation came the reflex action of wanting some sort of 'justice'. Once again, if my life were a cartoon you'd see me shaking my fists at the dentist and yelling "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS" No such luck in real life because, he's on holidays! I've approached the clinic and a colleague of his has taken a look at Aaron and of course defended the work - she was very convincing too. I was so confused because she had a different and more positive assessment of the situation. I'm not a dentist, I have no inkling of whether the information I am receiving is sound or not. To put my mind at ease and have more ammunition for finger pointing in the near future, we went to yet another dentist. This one basically agreed with the paediatric dentist.

There is plenty more but I'll spare you the details. I just needed to vent a little. Not too much because the issue isn't closed yet. I wish I could take some sort of legal action but we've been told the legal fees will far outweigh the compensation. That doesn't mean I'm going to put it down because there is still the Queensland Health Commission who will notify the Dental Board of Australia as soon as I put in my complaint.

Enough of the drama, we'll deal with the rest of this stuff next week. The weekend is going to be sunny and cool so we'll be off to the zoo tomorrow morning.

Wordless Wednesday - Let Me In!

I'd like to escape down a rabbit hole too! In the mean time, visiting some other Wordless Wednesdays at My Little Drummer Boys will definitely offer some distraction from the worries of my day.

A Good Day To Make A Mess

This was Aaron four years ago at around two years old. I often let him make a mess of the place and himself with the one and only bottle of purple paint that I bought. Lots of fun for him but the clean up was no fun for me.

Its a public holiday today and Richard is at home to help out. What a great opportunity for me to let Adrian have a go at making a mess! Although, it appears that Aaron is still the one who makes the biggest mess.

It was inevitable that when the time came to clean up, the paint did get on things that it shouldn't have but we have that sorted out now.

Its a pity that parents spend so much time either telling children not to make a mess or asking them to clean up a mess. I could see Aaron feel the sudden freedom of being allowed to mess all the colours up with his hands and not be told to be careful about the paint getting on the floor or on his clothes. He carried on that freedom a little too much by leaving a handprint on the wall but that was cleaned up quite easily. We were prepared for that so there was only laughter about it all.

Unfortunately, not every day can be like today.

I Never Thought I Would...

The inspiration for this post comes from the song that I've had in my head for the past couple of days - not the lyrics or melody of the song but the fact that it is a country song. I don't have anything against country music but its not the type of music that I actively search out. To me (and I have to admit to being very ignorant about country music), it sounds like a very 'country' sounding country song. If you must have a listen, go Google 'Ready to Roll' by Blake Shelton.

So this strange new favourite song got me thinking of some of the other things that I never thought I would do/like/eat, etc. I'm picking 21 as my baseline - my final year in university.

I never thought I would ...

... enjoy crafts. I never had any interest in working with my hands on small fiddly things. I might have actually secretly thought it was too old fashioned for me to get into that sort of thing. Since then, I've had an intense period of beading but that had to give way to something a little more useful to my every day life - sewing. There is so much satisfaction to be derived from making something instead of buying it.

... eat celery. Absolutely hated this vegetable back then and now, my fridge is never without a big bunch of it. I started liking just the stems but now I like the leaves too.

... enjoy taking public transport. I found it a chore when I was in school and university. I didn't enjoy rushing for the next available train. The other thing I hated was pushing my way to the doors to get out. My stop was one that very few people got out at so the exits always remained clogged. These days, I look for opportunities to take either the train, bus (my favourite) or ferry. I do this here in Brisbane and try to do it in any place I visit. When we were in Palembang and had a driver, I used to get him to be our guide on the public buses instead of driving the car. From the everyday ferries, buses and trains to tuk tuks, jeepneys, angkots, rickshaws, monorails, bullet trains and trams, I enjoy the sights and smells that they all bring!

... choose not to be sociable. I don't understand this one at all. At 21, I was rarely seen without a group of at least five people and regularly organised large get togethers. At work, I also had many friends and action packed weekends. These days, I seem to avoid contacting friends (the few that I have left) and arranging to meet up. I'm awkward in all social situations and I prefer to hang out with my family instead.

... be a wife and mother. Yes, its not just the 'mother' bit that I never thought of. I also never really wanted to be a wife. I remember thinking that I wanted to 'live in sin'. Ironically, I got married at 24, just 3 years later. As for children, I definitely did not want to have any of my own. I thought that even if I came around to the idea of being a parent, I wasn't going to let the child come out of my body - I would adopt. I love my two boys to bits but I should have stuck to that adoption plan because their exits from my body were not exactly the most beautiful moments in my life. And to think I did it twice! Well, I've learned now.

And there you have it, five 'never though I would have-s' from my life. What about you?

Worldless Wednesday - Special Box Of Shrimp

For more Wordless Wednesdays, visit My Little Drummer Boys.

The Question of Sleepovers

As a teenager, I can remember begging my parents to let me go on sleepovers. This was in high school and my friends were constantly over at each others houses. I rarely got to join in the fun and was often resentful of my parents about this. The strange thing was that on the rare occasions that they did allow me to spend the night at a friend's place, I didn't really enjoy it. I was uncomfortable being in another family's home. Maybe this was all because my parents didn't let me have enough practice at sleepovers.

Now that I'm a parent, I'm starting to think of sleepovers again. More specifically, how I'm probably not going to be allowing Aaron or Adrian to go to too many of them. Aaron is barely six years old and already the kids are talking about it at school. Even the teachers are touting it as an essential part of growing up. I can't agree with it - especially not for children as young as Aaron.

I'm ok with the idea of an occasional playdate and I think that maybe in the future, if there are groups of children that are having sleepovers, I might suggest that my children will stay to 8pm (depending on how old they are) and then come home to sleep in their own homes.

With the constant headlines of  the many types of horrible and crazy people out there, many of whom appear 'normal', how can I let my children spend the night in the home of somebody that I don't know? Even if I have a chat with them each day during school pick up, I don't know anything about these people. And then, even if they were 'good parents', how do I know that they don't have other people who visit their homes? I'm also very strict about the types of movies or tv shows that my children watch - other people may not be. There are so many of these questions that I don't have comfortable answers to. And, I don't think I need to go out of my way to become comfortable with this idea.

While I'm on this topic, I remember reading an article some years ago about teaching children how to speak up if they feel uncomfortable about a situation. The situation could be something a person says or does or even a tv program that they do not feel comfortable watching. I need to start talking to Aaron about these things....

So what do you think? How comfortable are you with your children sleeping over at a friend's place? And grandparents, do you have the same views on sleepovers for your grandchildren as you did when your children were little?

Now, don't anybody mention 'Tiger Moms' because firstly, I've always thought that was a ridiculous term, and secondly, I'm not one and don't aspire to be one either. 

Journey and Discovery Weekend

This weekend, I spent some time as a student at Aaron's school. Twice a year, a "Journey and Discovery" weekend is organised where parents can experience the classroom environment that the children are in every day.

It wasn't intentional but I was about 5 minutes late to class - unfortunately, Aaron is also very often late to class in the morning. All 24 other parents were already at work. In the Montessori environment, lessons for a particular activity are presented to children as individuals or in small groups. For this weekend, the teachers left instruction sheets next to most activities and only provided the lesson if we couldn't figure it out. The material presented was for children aged 3 to 12 years old but guess what, almost all of us had to have a lesson at some. The work on multiplication, division and square roots was definitely tricky to figure out.

Needless to say, the experience was refreshing and I now have a little first hand knowledge of the methods and rationale behind the Montessori method of teaching. I like that it is hands on and fosters a child's engagement in learning without being obvious about it. It is exciting to me that Aaron will be learning multiplication and division without the pain of memorising the times tables - that was my most hated thing to do at his age. Hopefully, he'll be able to grasp these concepts in a more concrete way and find meaning in the things he has to learn.

I didn't need convincing about the school or its methods. This weekend was just for me to gain a little more knowledge about the nuts and bolts of the classroom. The most meaningful idea that I took away was from the debriefing session at the end.

During a discussion on the place of computers/technology in the classroom a teacher explained that while being tech savvy is critical for these children, the use of technology also needs to be age appropriate and focused. Also, it is important that the children learn about delayed gratification. The example that she provided was about doing research for projects. It is tempting to conveniently get on the internet and Google all the information - quick and easy. (This is definitely something that I do with Aaron very frequently.) She explained that at this age (6-9 year olds), it may be a better idea to first go to books or even to talk to an expert before using the internet. To make a search of the internet more focused, a child may use it for a specific point that they could not find out by other means. This removes the temptation to 'wander' aimlessly around websites.

I think I like that idea. It may take a little longer but the process is just as important as the end result. Aaron and I are working on a timeline of the dinosaur age and he naturally brought out his books to find dates and details. We started on this a week and a half ago, but at the time, I thought he looked so focused surrounded by his books that I didn't want to spoil it by turning to the internet. I'm glad I didn't.