6 Don'ts For Wives

Several days ago, I mentioned that the little book I bought, "Don'ts for Wives", was broken down into twelve chapters. I thought I'd share "Don'ts" from the first six chapters today. I have picked those that I think will have some relevance to wives now.

1. Personalities
Don't despise sound common sense because he doesn't indulge in brilliant inspirations.
Somehow this reminds me of the Tortoise and the Hare story. Not everybody can be flash.

2. How to avoid discord
Don't nag your husband. If he won't carry out your wishes for love of you then he surely won't if you nag him.
This is something I remember from before we were married - I never wanted to be a nag. After 10 years, I do find myself nagging occasionally but I don't think I'm all that bad.

3. Habits
Don't open the door for yourself when your husband is present. He would open it for a lady guest, let him open it for you. Besides, your boys will not learn the little courtesies that count nearly as well by precept as by example.
I'm going to have to get this started in our house. ALL the boys in this house need to learn it.

4. Financial Matters
Don't spend all the best years of your life pinching and saving unnecessarily, until you are too old to get any pleasure out of your money.
Ah, I like this one a lot but its definitely something that I have problems with. I thought people from a hundred years ago would be more into saving all the time.

5. Evenings At Home
Don't let him search the house for you, Listen for his latch-key and meet him at the threshold.
Fiona left a comment mentioning something similar from her religion. Looks like this is one of those universal truths.

6. Jealousy
Don't be jealous of your husband's acquaintance with other women. You don't want him to think you are the nicest woman in the world because he never sees any others, but because he sees plenty, and still feels that you are the only one in the world for him. Have nice girls around the house pretty frequently.
I found it hardest to pick something from this chapter. They all seemed so old fashioned. Even with this one, I'm not so sure about that last sentence.

And there you have it. I've already put #4 into practice today. Better get cracking on the other ones...

Don'ts For Wives

On a whim, I bought this little pocket sized book after being attracted by that title and reading the preface. It was written by Blanche Ebbutt and published nearly a century ago, in 1913. While there are points in the book that seem a little dated, many of the 'don'ts' are still useful for wives today.

The book is broken down into twelve chapters :

1. Personalities
2. How to avoid discord
3. Habits
4. Financial Matters
5. Evenings At Home
6. Jealousy
7. Recreation
8. Food
9. Dress
10. Entertaining
11. Household Management
12. Children

Sometimes the wordings and the ideas presented do seem old fashioned but when you think about the principles and intentions behind them, they don't need to be labeled with expiry dates at all.

For this post, I'm going to pick a random "Don't". I think I'll organize some of the others over a few other posts in the future.

Don't think its beneath you to put your husband slippers ready for him. On a cold evening, especially, it makes all the difference to his comfort if his soles are warmed through.

When I first stopped working, I sarcastically told a friend that I was staying home to bring my husband his slippers when he got home from work. Of course, I said it with the very thought of it being beneath me and absolutely no intention of doing anything like it. Now, even though I've still not done it (and will need to psych myself up a lot for it), I think it would be a very thoughtful gesture. Richard would be so surprised that he'll probably faint! But you can see how it may seem old fashioned (and maybe some people may argue sexist) but at the same time, its a very sweet and loving thing to do right?

Look out for more "Don'ts for Wives" in the future. There is also a companion book, "Don'ts for Husbands" that I'm planning to get my hands on.