My mother can be a very no-nonsense, strict and often blunt person. She is nice but prefers to say how things are instead of beating around any bushes. She also often appears to have little sympathy for others although in her old(er) age now, I think her understanding side is becoming more apparent. Anyway, because of all the above, my brother has often told her that she has a heart of stone.
And now, thirty three years and two children later, I'm diagnosing myself with the same affliction : Heart of Stone.
In the past few days I have witnessed what would have been heart wrenching crying from both the six week old and the three year old. There was always a "legitimate" reason like the baby being strapped down in the car for too long or Aaron pleading with me not to send him into the pool for swim lessons because he was afraid of putting his head in the water.
I did my best to calm the baby in the car and even stopped to offer a quick feed but nothing soothed him. Yet, as I sat there, looking at his helpless little face, I 'felt' for him but it didn't really upset me or make me want to cry with him. I really needed to get where we were going. And there was nothing else I could do.
At the swim school, the teacher kept saying "Mom, you have to be strong. When I tell you to go, you have to leave and go outside where he can't see you." She kept assuring me that it was hard to do but she would take good care of my son. Yet again, when Aaron was crying loudly at the side of the pool and the teacher felt she could work with him better if I was out of sight, I didn't have any problems leaving. Didn't need to be strong or anything. He was genuinely terrified of what he thought was coming up in the lesson. But his teacher was right and he did settle down to a good lesson.
I'm not saying that I heartlessly leave my children to cry all the time but at the times I felt I needed to, it wasn't that hard to do. Shouldn't I have more feeling for them when they are so obviously distressed? Or maybe its an efficient way to cope with difficult situations. No sense in all of us crying is there? Or maybe its just preparation for the teenage years?
Showing posts with label observations. Show all posts
Showing posts with label observations. Show all posts
Monday, February 8, 2010
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Lining Up
Isn't it weird how sometimes you have a certain topic in mind and then, before even posting it, you talk to somebody else and they bring up the same topic?
After waiting for 2 elevators this afternoon, I decided that today's post was going to be on lining up. At the mall today, I pushed Aaron's pram up to wait for the elevator. I was the first one there. Soon, there were more people. And over here, they disregard the sign on the elevator doors to allow people to exit the elevator before moving in. So, the people that arrived after me crowded around the still closed elevator doors. When the doors finally opened and the overcrowded elevator spilled out with people, it was just a sticky shoving of bodies back and forth as people tried to filter through both ways. There was no way I could have made it with the pram. Luckily, the next elevator that came was empty so I only had to be quicker than the other people waiting to get on. Some of them were just going up a single floor, with no prams or even bags. Why don't they just use the escalators if they're not going to line up decently.
Right before posting this, I was chatting with my friend in Brunei, Mr LB and he mentioned lining up too. This time in a more positive way. Last week, Muslims around the world celebrated the end of Ramadan (fasting month). The Sultan of Brunei had an open house for 3 days that 100,000 people attended. All the visitors, VIP or not, got to shake hands with either the Sultan or his wife, depending on whether they were male or female. I don't know what the lines were like there but I'm sure there WERE lines. And can you imagine the task that the Sultan and his wife had shaking all those thousands of hands?
Finally, my last comment on lining up is related to restrooms in Malaysia. Normally, if you go to a crowded restroom, you'd join the end of the line right? And, there would only be a single line. This isn't the case in Malaysia. Over there, you pick a cubicle and line up behind that one. So, if somebody who comes in AFTER you, picks a cubicle that gets done quicker, they'll get to go first. I've always been puzzled about how this got started. Its also only a female thing too because my husband says that if there's ever a line on the men's side, there is only ever one line.
Thats all I've got on lining up today....
After waiting for 2 elevators this afternoon, I decided that today's post was going to be on lining up. At the mall today, I pushed Aaron's pram up to wait for the elevator. I was the first one there. Soon, there were more people. And over here, they disregard the sign on the elevator doors to allow people to exit the elevator before moving in. So, the people that arrived after me crowded around the still closed elevator doors. When the doors finally opened and the overcrowded elevator spilled out with people, it was just a sticky shoving of bodies back and forth as people tried to filter through both ways. There was no way I could have made it with the pram. Luckily, the next elevator that came was empty so I only had to be quicker than the other people waiting to get on. Some of them were just going up a single floor, with no prams or even bags. Why don't they just use the escalators if they're not going to line up decently.
Right before posting this, I was chatting with my friend in Brunei, Mr LB and he mentioned lining up too. This time in a more positive way. Last week, Muslims around the world celebrated the end of Ramadan (fasting month). The Sultan of Brunei had an open house for 3 days that 100,000 people attended. All the visitors, VIP or not, got to shake hands with either the Sultan or his wife, depending on whether they were male or female. I don't know what the lines were like there but I'm sure there WERE lines. And can you imagine the task that the Sultan and his wife had shaking all those thousands of hands?
Finally, my last comment on lining up is related to restrooms in Malaysia. Normally, if you go to a crowded restroom, you'd join the end of the line right? And, there would only be a single line. This isn't the case in Malaysia. Over there, you pick a cubicle and line up behind that one. So, if somebody who comes in AFTER you, picks a cubicle that gets done quicker, they'll get to go first. I've always been puzzled about how this got started. Its also only a female thing too because my husband says that if there's ever a line on the men's side, there is only ever one line.
Thats all I've got on lining up today....
Friday, August 17, 2007
Waiting in line with children
Here's something else that I've noticed since having a baby. When you're out shopping, especially grocery shopping, waiting in line to pay transforms from a mindless passing of minutes to something that you really need to use your brains for.
"Ohhh look at this, but don't touch it" or "Look at that baby" or "Don't bite the shopping cart!" I know he's just being curious so for now, I'll just have to keep him occupied.
Today I overheard a mother of 3 older children saying "Just be good children! Remember the chocolates? They are right there but I'm going to put them back if you don't sit still. You wouldn't like that would you?"
I'm sure the day may come when I have to resort to threats and bribes like that but I hope it won't be too often. Bribing with chocolates just doesn't sound right but I think I understand how desperate that mother must have been.
By the way, I've been meaning to put this photo up but kept forgetting. Its another first for Aaron. Sleeping in his pram:
"Ohhh look at this, but don't touch it" or "Look at that baby" or "Don't bite the shopping cart!" I know he's just being curious so for now, I'll just have to keep him occupied.
Today I overheard a mother of 3 older children saying "Just be good children! Remember the chocolates? They are right there but I'm going to put them back if you don't sit still. You wouldn't like that would you?"
I'm sure the day may come when I have to resort to threats and bribes like that but I hope it won't be too often. Bribing with chocolates just doesn't sound right but I think I understand how desperate that mother must have been.
By the way, I've been meaning to put this photo up but kept forgetting. Its another first for Aaron. Sleeping in his pram:
Monday, July 9, 2007
10 things to appreciate before baby arrives
Having a baby is a package deal. You get all the cute and cuddly time as well as the screaming tantrums and sleepless nights. While I am comfortable with the parenting choices I have made, I still wish I took the time to appreciate certain aspects of my baby-less life before Aaron arrived. So, to all parents to be:
1) Spend an entire day surfing the internet. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in front of the computer so that you won't waste a single second of it. After the baby arrives, there is no more time for frivolous sites....you just log on, do what you have to do and then jump off again.
2) Spend an entire day watching DVDs! Its been 11 months and I still haven't watched a single DVD uninterrupted.
3) Go out for a really expensive (and of course tasty) meal at a restaurant with good ambiance. After the baby, its either no outside food, take out food or if you're lucky, family friendly restaurants.
4) While at the expensive restaurant, appreciate the calm and quiet meal that you are having. Eat slowly. With a baby, you're probably only going to get a bite in between his/her bites.
5) Don't get frustrated if you find yourself with nothing to do and a little bored. Just sit there and BE BORED.
6) If you're a mom-to-be, glug down a can of softdrink. I miss my COKE! Somehow, what I eat/drink filters through the breast milk and the coloring/additives/preservatives would just give Aaron (and me!) a sleepless night.
7) If you're a dad-to-be, take the time to talk to the mom-to-be. After the baby arrives, all you may hear is 'SHUSH, the baby is sleeping'
8) Relax frequently with long showers or baths. I find that showers post Aaron are usually a rushed 2 mins. Don't worry, I'm still clean.....I just got efficient at showering.
9) Moms-to be, wear jewelery, especially long earrings. Wear your hair down if its long. Wear lipstick. Wear a strapless dress and heels. LOOK GOOD!
10) Dads-to-be, enjoy your current household chores. After the baby arrives, there will be a whole lot more.
1) Spend an entire day surfing the internet. Eat breakfast, lunch and dinner in front of the computer so that you won't waste a single second of it. After the baby arrives, there is no more time for frivolous sites....you just log on, do what you have to do and then jump off again.
2) Spend an entire day watching DVDs! Its been 11 months and I still haven't watched a single DVD uninterrupted.
3) Go out for a really expensive (and of course tasty) meal at a restaurant with good ambiance. After the baby, its either no outside food, take out food or if you're lucky, family friendly restaurants.
4) While at the expensive restaurant, appreciate the calm and quiet meal that you are having. Eat slowly. With a baby, you're probably only going to get a bite in between his/her bites.
5) Don't get frustrated if you find yourself with nothing to do and a little bored. Just sit there and BE BORED.
6) If you're a mom-to-be, glug down a can of softdrink. I miss my COKE! Somehow, what I eat/drink filters through the breast milk and the coloring/additives/preservatives would just give Aaron (and me!) a sleepless night.
7) If you're a dad-to-be, take the time to talk to the mom-to-be. After the baby arrives, all you may hear is 'SHUSH, the baby is sleeping'
8) Relax frequently with long showers or baths. I find that showers post Aaron are usually a rushed 2 mins. Don't worry, I'm still clean.....I just got efficient at showering.
9) Moms-to be, wear jewelery, especially long earrings. Wear your hair down if its long. Wear lipstick. Wear a strapless dress and heels. LOOK GOOD!
10) Dads-to-be, enjoy your current household chores. After the baby arrives, there will be a whole lot more.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Baby Ball Pool
One of the things I appreciate about Palembang is its baby friendliness. Almost everybody we meet likes babies/children and will spend a good amount of time engaging Aaron in some sort of conversation. More importantly, they are ALL good at getting a chuckle out of a baby. Its as if everybody (men, women and other kids) here has had to care for a baby at some point in their lives and that has made them 'experts'.
There are plenty of babies everywhere we go so it makes sense that there are also plenty of baby shops around. The product lines they carry are extremely varied but it takes awhile to find the items suitable for us...such as 100% cotton material. Once I do get my hands on something, the prices are usually reasonable.
Yesterday, we went to a large shop called 'Yuli's'. I didn't really have anything to buy but I had to get out of the house and had never been there before. Anyway, we found that there was a children's play area on the upper floor. I have found the solution to the hot and boring afternoons! Take a look at his first time in one of those 'Ball Pools'. What are they really called anyway?
There are plenty of babies everywhere we go so it makes sense that there are also plenty of baby shops around. The product lines they carry are extremely varied but it takes awhile to find the items suitable for us...such as 100% cotton material. Once I do get my hands on something, the prices are usually reasonable.
Yesterday, we went to a large shop called 'Yuli's'. I didn't really have anything to buy but I had to get out of the house and had never been there before. Anyway, we found that there was a children's play area on the upper floor. I have found the solution to the hot and boring afternoons! Take a look at his first time in one of those 'Ball Pools'. What are they really called anyway?
Friday, June 8, 2007
Back to the Future
Ipoh must be one of the last cities in Malaysia where people still ride their bikes out to the closest payphone. This lady is actually on her 2nd phone call. I wonder how much change she brought along with her....
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Passengers Only
The Sultan Mahmud Baharuddin Airport in Palembang is different from all the other airports I have been to. Yes of course it looks different but there is something ELSE.
Its 'Passengers Only' from the drop off point at the Departure Area. Only passengers are allowed into the terminal. Normally this only happens at the immigration gates but in Palembang the area in front of the doors into the terminal is where you say your 'Goodbyes'. This makes in REALLY BORING inside. Try entertaining a 10 month old for 90mins in a small airport, with few shops and NO smoke free zones. We got settled in one corner to have lunch, and somebody lit up. Packed everything up and moved to another little corner, somebody else lights up. Sheesh! Don't they know it KILLS?
Hang on....I think this might have been the case in Bali as well. Perhaps its not different from ALL the other airports. Perhaps this is how it is in Indonesia. I'll have to go to Jakarta one of these days to check it out.
Its 'Passengers Only' from the drop off point at the Departure Area. Only passengers are allowed into the terminal. Normally this only happens at the immigration gates but in Palembang the area in front of the doors into the terminal is where you say your 'Goodbyes'. This makes in REALLY BORING inside. Try entertaining a 10 month old for 90mins in a small airport, with few shops and NO smoke free zones. We got settled in one corner to have lunch, and somebody lit up. Packed everything up and moved to another little corner, somebody else lights up. Sheesh! Don't they know it KILLS?
Hang on....I think this might have been the case in Bali as well. Perhaps its not different from ALL the other airports. Perhaps this is how it is in Indonesia. I'll have to go to Jakarta one of these days to check it out.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Nappy Free Babies!
I was chatting with a neighbor and her 6 month old daughter last week when suddenly the mother jumped back and lifted her baby out in front of her body. The baby was peeing! A big pee too by the looks of things. So I pointed to Aaron's terry towelling nappy and said 'She doesn't wear nappies?' Apparently not.
So far I haven't been able to find out WHY they don't wear any but they really don't. We meet many of the neighborhood babies when we go for our morning or evening walks and after last week, I've noticed that none of them are in nappies. I'm still asking the parents 'WHY?' but the most consistent answer I receive is that they will do it when the child is older. This doesn't make sense to me....isn't 'older' when you toilet train the child?
I have heard that there are cultures where toilet training begins in infancy but, I don't think thats the case here.
Its just a mystery at the moment but I'll keep you posted on my findings.
So far I haven't been able to find out WHY they don't wear any but they really don't. We meet many of the neighborhood babies when we go for our morning or evening walks and after last week, I've noticed that none of them are in nappies. I'm still asking the parents 'WHY?' but the most consistent answer I receive is that they will do it when the child is older. This doesn't make sense to me....isn't 'older' when you toilet train the child?
I have heard that there are cultures where toilet training begins in infancy but, I don't think thats the case here.
Its just a mystery at the moment but I'll keep you posted on my findings.
Playstation
The majority of kids here may be poor but it doesn't mean they can't be gamers! This photo was taken at about 10am in the morning so most kids are at school. I have driven past the same shop in the afternoon and it is PACKED.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
ACRONYMS
It looks like there is no escaping acronyms.
When I started my first job, I wondered if they were speaking the same English that I was taught at school. "OK LT, Please LTHL L9384729 ready for GYAT. And then bring it along for RRP". I soon learnt and after awhile it became second nature and it was my family that wondered what I was talking about.
The period we lived in Klang was relatively acronym free. The only ones used there were OK and A/C. Nobody said anything like "Lets have some BKT"...They would just say "Lets have some Bak Kut Teh"
Here in Palembang....its both the merging of words as well as acronyms. "When is your ulta?" The only word remotely resembling ulta that I know of is unta (I think), which means camel. I don't have a camel! Turns out that ulta is short form for ULang TAhun (birthday). Geez! And then there are the acronyms PIM, PS, PTC, etc etc....and the harder part to is is that they pronounce all their alphabets using phonetics. Guess what my HAR PEH is?
Lately, I've been getting addicted to the Australian Breastfeeding Association Forums and there is a whole new set of acronyms to learn there as well. Here are just a few:
AP - Attachment Parenting
ABM - Artificial baby milk (formula)
CC - Controlled Crying
CCC - Child Care Centre
CIO - Cry it out
DH - Dear Husband
DW- Dear Wife
DP - Dear Partner
DS - Dear Son
DD - Dear Daughter
DF - Dear Fiance
DB - dear boyfriend
DSD - dear step daughter
DSS - dear step son
EBM - expressed breastmilk
LO - Little one
SAHM - stay at home mum
TMI - Too much information
WAHM - work at home mum
I should try to write an entire post purely in acronyms and abbreviations...but then again, I won't. I hate it when other people get carried away with all the sms style writing when there is a perfectly comfortable keyboard to use.
When I started my first job, I wondered if they were speaking the same English that I was taught at school. "OK LT, Please LTHL L9384729 ready for GYAT. And then bring it along for RRP". I soon learnt and after awhile it became second nature and it was my family that wondered what I was talking about.
The period we lived in Klang was relatively acronym free. The only ones used there were OK and A/C. Nobody said anything like "Lets have some BKT"...They would just say "Lets have some Bak Kut Teh"
Here in Palembang....its both the merging of words as well as acronyms. "When is your ulta?" The only word remotely resembling ulta that I know of is unta (I think), which means camel. I don't have a camel! Turns out that ulta is short form for ULang TAhun (birthday). Geez! And then there are the acronyms PIM, PS, PTC, etc etc....and the harder part to is is that they pronounce all their alphabets using phonetics. Guess what my HAR PEH is?
Lately, I've been getting addicted to the Australian Breastfeeding Association Forums and there is a whole new set of acronyms to learn there as well. Here are just a few:
AP - Attachment Parenting
ABM - Artificial baby milk (formula)
CC - Controlled Crying
CCC - Child Care Centre
CIO - Cry it out
DH - Dear Husband
DW- Dear Wife
DP - Dear Partner
DS - Dear Son
DD - Dear Daughter
DF - Dear Fiance
DB - dear boyfriend
DSD - dear step daughter
DSS - dear step son
EBM - expressed breastmilk
LO - Little one
SAHM - stay at home mum
TMI - Too much information
WAHM - work at home mum
I should try to write an entire post purely in acronyms and abbreviations...but then again, I won't. I hate it when other people get carried away with all the sms style writing when there is a perfectly comfortable keyboard to use.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)