Gendercide

As a mother of two boys, the question I'm asked most is "Are you going to try for a girl?" All my friends, and plenty of new people I meet, have the idea that firstly, girls are preferable to boys because they're easier to look after (and shop for) and secondly, if you don't have a daughter yet, you have to try to get one.

I often feel like telling people that its rude to disregard Adrian in that way but I don't. I'm not that kind of person. In my mind, I've sometimes thought that if I was the wife or even the mistress of a king somewhere, two boys would certainly make me one of the favorites. I would be celebrated for having not one but TWO sons. Etc, etc, etc...Its no big deal. I love my boys and actually have no yearning to have a girl.

Over the weekend, I read about the reverse preference in some developing countries (countries where I would be envied). "The Weekend Australian Magazine" described a practice in India where the bill for an ultrasound is delivered in either a pink or blue envelope. This is the workaround to finding out gender because it is illegal to do so. In many cases, a pink envelope leads to a trip to an abortion clinic where the operation will be justified as a "feotal abnormality". Supposedly there are already 24 million more boys than girls in India because of the notion that sons will maintain the family line and can support their parents in old age. Well, that isn't going to happen if these boys can't eventually find a girl to marry!

Of course, a similar situation is happening in China. Its estimated that by 2020, up to 25 million men of marrying age could find themselves without a partner.

I haven't done the math so I don't know if the impact of these millions would make a dent to a population of one billion. But, having a cute three month old to play with everyday, I can't help thinking how sad this all is.

I'll be honest and admit that there was a split second of disappointment when I found out we were having another boy. I couldn't help it, there was just so much talk of a girl by family and friends. There certainly are no regrets now and I doubt anybody gives a thought to whether the child is a girl or boy when they hold their baby for the first time in the delivery room. They are just cute little (androgynous looking) babies! Its impossible to wish they were anything else.

I know life is different for people of various cultures but babies are babies. No matter how you look at it, its just wrong to abort because of gender.

Parents Room at DFO Brisbane

I've found another very baby friendly mall. Its at the Direct Factory Outlet near the Brisbane International Airport. All the shopping is on one floor so there is no need to negotiate escalators or look for lifts. They also have the designated people-with-pram parking spots and a great Parent's Room. The sign just says Parents Room and I expected a change table and perhaps a chair in there. It was much more:

There were two cubicles with good rocking chairs for feeding your baby. Even includes foot rest.

A microwave for heating up food, milk or whatever. You're not supposed to use microwaves for babies but I suppose they couldn't put a stove in. Anyway, plenty of people use the microwave carefully. including me.

Two huge change tables with very very deep sinks next to them. I guess they know that some older kids need BIG CLEANS! Almost baths.

A GIGANTIC restroom cubicle that would fit two parents, the pram, and maybe 3 kids at once. Of course nobody would do that but thats just how big it was. Moms or Dads are allowed in there.

I think I'll keep up my review of parent friendly malls. Its something that I find myself searching the internet for when I go to a new place. Somebody out there might find it useful. Brisbane isn't all that big but so far, I've only gone to two of the malls; DFO and Toowong Village Shopping Center. Its hard to go out on a baby's schedule plus we love the outdoors here.

Waiting in line with children

Here's something else that I've noticed since having a baby. When you're out shopping, especially grocery shopping, waiting in line to pay transforms from a mindless passing of minutes to something that you really need to use your brains for.

"Ohhh look at this, but don't touch it" or "Look at that baby" or "Don't bite the shopping cart!" I know he's just being curious so for now, I'll just have to keep him occupied.

Today I overheard a mother of 3 older children saying "Just be good children! Remember the chocolates? They are right there but I'm going to put them back if you don't sit still. You wouldn't like that would you?"

I'm sure the day may come when I have to resort to threats and bribes like that but I hope it won't be too often. Bribing with chocolates just doesn't sound right but I think I understand how desperate that mother must have been.

By the way, I've been meaning to put this photo up but kept forgetting. Its another first for Aaron. Sleeping in his pram: