How long have you gone without having a shower? Or washing your hair? I'll admit to a week without a proper shower during our first trip to Western China about 15 years ago. But today's post has nothing to do roughing it. Its still related to China though.
I'm planning on having this next baby in Brisbane and recently, Malaysians have been asking me "Who will help you with your confinement?"
There is a set of Chinese beliefs about the 40 days after a new mother delivers her baby. Those 40 days are called the Confinement Month because the new mother is confined to the home (and perhaps her room). These practices may sound ancient but many people still believe in it strongly and follow the rules.
Its all to do with helping the body recuperate after pregnancy and childbirth. During the days of confinement, there is often a confinement lady that is hired to care for the new mother and baby. These ladies are often expensive and their duties encompass everything to do with the care of baby and mom. This includes cooking all meals for the mother and in the very traditional sense, being the primary carer for the newborn. In Malaysia, there are also Confinement homes which are a little more affordable where new mothers will go and stay for the 40 days or so.
The theory is that pregnancy is a 'hot' state to be in and after delivery, the body is susceptible to 'cold' and must be kept warm. And if a new mother doesn't follow these rules, she'll 'pay for it when she's old'.
Here are some of the rules:
- Mothers must stay indoors the whole 40 days.
- No baths or showers for mum. I have heard that they can bathe in a special herbal bath if they want.
- Not allowed to wash their hair.
- Not allowed to brush their teeth (???)
- All the windows should be kept closed to prevent any breeze cooling the mum down.
- Head should be covered.
- Can't eat 'cold' foods. This doesn't just mean ice cream...there are many vegetables and fruits also deemed 'cold'.
- They should eat bucket loads of ginger. When I was living in Malaysia, I saw one mother-in-law prepare what looked like 5kgs of ginger for a new mother.
It all sounds crazy doesn't it? Many modern mothers today believe in the Confinement Month as taught by their mothers but I think most cheat on these rules. Especially the personal cleanliness ones! Perhaps in the old days, in China, all these practices were more logical because they had cold winters.
My mother never followed any of these practices because I was born in Australia and so she never passed any of these ideas on to me. She did come to stay with me when Aaron was first born and the only Chinese thing we practiced was cooking with lots of ginger and Chinese wine.
My mother is reaching the age where she would be 'paying for it' but she seems fine so far. I have no intention of 'confining' myself, especially since the baby will be born in the middle of summer. Lets hope I won't pay for it either!
Showing posts with label tradition. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tradition. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Friday, February 8, 2008
The Year of the Rat
Happy Chinese New Year! This is the year of the Rat, so if you're born in 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985 or 1997, this is your year.
Apart from the family reunion and consumption of too many cookies and cakes, Chinese New Year is very much about traditions and fashions.
My family isn't a very traditional family but there are still several practices that we observe. I'm not sure if the reasons behind them are the original ones but they are what we were taught.
1) We leave the lights in the house on overnight so that the God of Prosperity can find his way to us.
2) We don't sweep the floors on the first day of the new year in case we accidentally sweep the good luck away.
3) There is absolutely no arguing on this day. Everybody has to hold their tongues on this day. Even Aaron is 'indulged' so that he does not cry. So today, he got out of his car seat, too many bites of our cookies and too many walks 'outside'. We don't want to start the year off with any bitter tastes.
4) When we visit somebody else's home, we usually give them several mandarins and maybe some cookies or a packet of peanuts. They will give us something similar in return. The mandarins end up getting recycled from one house to another. Sometimes the other goodies are kept but they usually get given out to somebody as well to minimize the amount that we need to stock up on at home. The whole idea is about perpetuating the cycle of giving and receiving.
5) Nobody wears black on this day. If possible, we dress in red or any colour related to red. Supposedly, red is traditionally worn to chase away some monster....this is some ancient chinese myth. I don't know much about it at all, we just all reach for the red clothes.
Thats about all I can remember that we do. Other families will have many more traditions like being vegetarian for a day and also special prayers.
The first day of Chinese New Year is also when many people will wear new clothes. In the past, my parents told me that it is the only time during the year that they would receive any new clothes to wear. These days, people are more casual and will not always be in brand new clothes. They do try to have some chinese element on it if they can. I wore a Cheongsam (also called Qipao) from 37 years ago. My mother had this made from some material she received as a wedding present.
The most well dressed people on this day are usually my grandparents. My grandmother is wearing the traditional Sam Fu (literally, shirt and pants) and my grandfather is just in a new red shirt. They still look like a beautiful couple don't they?
Apart from the family reunion and consumption of too many cookies and cakes, Chinese New Year is very much about traditions and fashions.
My family isn't a very traditional family but there are still several practices that we observe. I'm not sure if the reasons behind them are the original ones but they are what we were taught.
1) We leave the lights in the house on overnight so that the God of Prosperity can find his way to us.
2) We don't sweep the floors on the first day of the new year in case we accidentally sweep the good luck away.
3) There is absolutely no arguing on this day. Everybody has to hold their tongues on this day. Even Aaron is 'indulged' so that he does not cry. So today, he got out of his car seat, too many bites of our cookies and too many walks 'outside'. We don't want to start the year off with any bitter tastes.
4) When we visit somebody else's home, we usually give them several mandarins and maybe some cookies or a packet of peanuts. They will give us something similar in return. The mandarins end up getting recycled from one house to another. Sometimes the other goodies are kept but they usually get given out to somebody as well to minimize the amount that we need to stock up on at home. The whole idea is about perpetuating the cycle of giving and receiving.
5) Nobody wears black on this day. If possible, we dress in red or any colour related to red. Supposedly, red is traditionally worn to chase away some monster....this is some ancient chinese myth. I don't know much about it at all, we just all reach for the red clothes.
Thats about all I can remember that we do. Other families will have many more traditions like being vegetarian for a day and also special prayers.
The first day of Chinese New Year is also when many people will wear new clothes. In the past, my parents told me that it is the only time during the year that they would receive any new clothes to wear. These days, people are more casual and will not always be in brand new clothes. They do try to have some chinese element on it if they can. I wore a Cheongsam (also called Qipao) from 37 years ago. My mother had this made from some material she received as a wedding present.
The most well dressed people on this day are usually my grandparents. My grandmother is wearing the traditional Sam Fu (literally, shirt and pants) and my grandfather is just in a new red shirt. They still look like a beautiful couple don't they?
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Reunion Meals & Home Casinos
The eve of Chinese New Year is when each family will have their reunion dinners. I have no idea how other families do it but we have always had a reunion lunch at my maternal grandmother's house and then a dinner at my paternal grandmother's. Some years, there is literally insufficient chairs in the house to fit everyone that has come home. This wasn't one of those years but there was still a pretty good crowd.
There is always a table for adults and one for kids. I graduated from the kiddy table when I got married but this year I find myself back there again because of Aaron. Aaron is really the only kid there as all my cousins are now grown up.
This year, we didn't go to my paternal grandmother's house but invited her and my uncle over to our house instead. For the first time, my grandmother suggested that we played blackjack. It is extremely common for families and friends to gamble during this season but we never did this in the past. We've been missing out on a lot of FUN!
There is always a table for adults and one for kids. I graduated from the kiddy table when I got married but this year I find myself back there again because of Aaron. Aaron is really the only kid there as all my cousins are now grown up.
This year, we didn't go to my paternal grandmother's house but invited her and my uncle over to our house instead. For the first time, my grandmother suggested that we played blackjack. It is extremely common for families and friends to gamble during this season but we never did this in the past. We've been missing out on a lot of FUN!
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Chinese New Year Ang Pows
Don't you like the sound of that word? ANG POW! It reminds me of KAPOW! from the Batman comics. It also feels a little like that some times. KAPOW! Several Hundred Ringgits knocked out of my pockets in one day.
Ang Pows are the red packets of money that married Chinese traditionally distribute during Chinese New Year. All children are guaranteed of a huge stack of red packets during this season. Grandparents and parents (of working children) will also benefit from this tradition. Newly married couples are the big losers of the season because they don't have any children to receive Ang Pows. At least I've had Aaron these past two years to recuperate the losses.
I've got all my new notes changed but will probably procrastinate filling the red packets until the night before Chinese New Year. Then there will be the usual shuffling of notes from packet to packet. Certain packets will contain larger amounts for closer family members. Other packets are 'lighter' and will be for general children that I meet. The trick is to remember which packets contain what without marking the packets themselves.
Another headache when planning how much to give is deciding how much to give each person. Ideally, everybody can have a 'big' packet but that would mean that Aaron would have to go hungry and naked! But, who am I to judge which family's children are more in need of cash? And, should I be fair and give all my grandparents the same amount or give more to the ones who actually need more cash? And also, should the amounts increase from year to year to take into account inflation? Or the fact that we earn more money now than when we were newlyweds?
I need to get back to my calculator....
p/s In case you're wondering, if you're not a grandparent/parent, you can only collect Ang Pows from people older than you. So, Evil Lyn....don't try ;)
Ang Pows are the red packets of money that married Chinese traditionally distribute during Chinese New Year. All children are guaranteed of a huge stack of red packets during this season. Grandparents and parents (of working children) will also benefit from this tradition. Newly married couples are the big losers of the season because they don't have any children to receive Ang Pows. At least I've had Aaron these past two years to recuperate the losses.
I've got all my new notes changed but will probably procrastinate filling the red packets until the night before Chinese New Year. Then there will be the usual shuffling of notes from packet to packet. Certain packets will contain larger amounts for closer family members. Other packets are 'lighter' and will be for general children that I meet. The trick is to remember which packets contain what without marking the packets themselves.
Another headache when planning how much to give is deciding how much to give each person. Ideally, everybody can have a 'big' packet but that would mean that Aaron would have to go hungry and naked! But, who am I to judge which family's children are more in need of cash? And, should I be fair and give all my grandparents the same amount or give more to the ones who actually need more cash? And also, should the amounts increase from year to year to take into account inflation? Or the fact that we earn more money now than when we were newlyweds?
I need to get back to my calculator....
p/s In case you're wondering, if you're not a grandparent/parent, you can only collect Ang Pows from people older than you. So, Evil Lyn....don't try ;)
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Red and White Packets
I was triggered to think about this because I heard of somebody passing away today and somebody else giving the 'Pak Kum'. A direct translation of that is 'white gold' but its not really gold. Its the money that Chinese will give to the family of the deceased, usually in a white envelope.
Anyway, we Chinese give money at almost all occasions. While it is practical and often useful, it sometimes seems like the easy way out to me. After all, it takes time and effort to give a thoughtful gift. Here are the occasions that I can think of where cash is given.
Your Full Moon - One month after you are born. Comes in a red packet with cash known as the Ang Pow.
Each of your birthdays - Your parents will probably get you a present but grandparents/aunts/uncles tend to give you Ang Pow. Peers will give gifts.
Your Wedding - Ang Pows from all guests. This really helps to defray the costs of the celebration. During the tea ceremony, family members sometimes also give jewellery. I have heard of some instances here in Australia where people have also started to ask for cash instead of presents.
Chinese New Year - If you are married, you have to give Ang Pow to any unmarried person you. Once people start working, they also give to their parents and grand parents. I have been paying out for 7 years but in 2008, I'll be collecting! Well, Aaron will be anyway :)
Your Funeral - As mentioned above, people will usually give Pak Kum to the family.
Anyway, we Chinese give money at almost all occasions. While it is practical and often useful, it sometimes seems like the easy way out to me. After all, it takes time and effort to give a thoughtful gift. Here are the occasions that I can think of where cash is given.
Your Full Moon - One month after you are born. Comes in a red packet with cash known as the Ang Pow.
Each of your birthdays - Your parents will probably get you a present but grandparents/aunts/uncles tend to give you Ang Pow. Peers will give gifts.
Your Wedding - Ang Pows from all guests. This really helps to defray the costs of the celebration. During the tea ceremony, family members sometimes also give jewellery. I have heard of some instances here in Australia where people have also started to ask for cash instead of presents.
Chinese New Year - If you are married, you have to give Ang Pow to any unmarried person you. Once people start working, they also give to their parents and grand parents. I have been paying out for 7 years but in 2008, I'll be collecting! Well, Aaron will be anyway :)
Your Funeral - As mentioned above, people will usually give Pak Kum to the family.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)