*Flashback* 15 September : I Wish I Could Tell

I've been procrastinating going around to all the neighbors to say goodbye. I really want to do it and in fact, I want to let them know that we're leaving for good and that I have appreciated their hospitality and friendship. Unfortunately, we can't tell yet. So, if I were to go visit them, I'd have to be casual about it and just say that I'm going for my yearly trip to Australia. They know that in each of the past two years, I have spent several months each year there. I feel like such a liar.

Richard has not officially resigned yet, so, except for our closest friends here, we haven't told anyone. The other person I'm dying to tell is our driver, Iwan. This is so that he can start making his own plans in case he's out of a job. We've actually got a job lined up for him and have gently encouraged him to explore it but he says he's contented where he is. Thankfully, that job should still be around for another couple of weeks so that when we can finally tell him, he can make a better decision about checking out this other position.

I hope that the people we know here don't feel slighted or offended that I didn't say a proper, long-term-type, goodbye before leaving. At least Richard will be around to do that and I'll have some presents prepared for them by then.

The silver lining here, and its a selfish one, is that the inability to talk about our move makes it a little easier for me to leave. Sort of like distancing myself from them so that I can forget how warm it is to be around them. As it is, I feel so sad to leave the few friendships that I have cultivated here. Each time I speak to those who know of our departure, I always leave with a feeling of "The End-ness". At least I think I'll see our Singaporean friends again but I may never see some of these others. I will of course stay in touch with letters but that will fade, especially since I'd have to write in Indonesian...