We're Halfway There

I think I start on my 20th week today. So, we're halfway. What have I done about this pregnancy? Nothing. So far no panicking, no planning, no shopping.

The first time round, I spent two weeks wondering if I was really pregnant or I misread the seven or so home pregnancy tests. Then, there was this long period of freaking out about labor and delivery. I scoured the internet and scared myself even more. I rang up several birth educators pretending to inquire about their classes but actually just wanted to ask them if it was going to be as bad as the Dr.Google says it was going to be. That whole fear lasted right up to the moment Aaron popped out....then I knew.

This time, I've spent the odd moment or two being resigned to the fact that I'm going to have to go through all that pain again but it will eventually pass. Big deal but survivable.

With Aaron, I read all the pregnancy sites. I read the week-by-week developments DAILY. I made an excel sheet of my nutritional needs and then charted what I ate each day, tallying up the totals to see if I was short on anything. I made lists of everything I would need to purchase. I researched products.

These days? All I know is that the baby must getting bigger because I feel it moving all the time. Fingernails yet? I don't know. Hair? No idea. I do make an effort to eat right because I've always felt that we don't always eat properly over here in the first place so I have made special efforts to make sure my meals are more balanced than usual.

Its not like this second pregnancy has been so easy that I haven't noticed it. In fact, I got the morning sickness (didn't have it with Aaron) and as mentioned previously, I'm getting fatter quicker. So, its physically very obvious. PLUS, a simple trip to the doctor would require planes!

And, its not that there is no excitement over this baby. There is, but I feel so laid back about it. Shouldn't I be doing some preparation? Or maybe, all that preparation I did do the first time round didn't help all that much so perhaps, there is no need?

I think it'll hit me all at once someday soon and then I'll have to do everything twice as quickly. Maybe when I find out if its a boy or a girl. Yes, we've decided that we want to know.